A
female
age
41-50,
*oordecisions75
writes:I've been seeing a guy for 2 1/2 years with the the relationship being intimate for just under 2 years. We met and there was immediate attraction. We stated our goals for long term relationship at the beginning and as things progressed he changed his mind on that. We continued to be friends and I guess I'm a classic female I thought if I spent enough time with him he would see how great I am and then want me the same way I wanted him. We spents lots of time to together, going out to dinners, movies, etc. We also spent quality time at each other's homes cooking dinners, watching movies and just hanging out. After all this time he still did not want to call me his girlfriend and said that we were just friends. I feel like this is a 'friends with benefits' situation except he doesn't leave afterwards. Well recently he called me a little late (not typical) and it was clear he wanted sex. I told him that I wasn't sure that I wanted to continue in that direction. He got upset because I wouldn't give him any and now he is totally distancing himself; making me feel like this whole time has been about sex only. Deep down I feel he is not right for me (especially with his narcissitic tendencies) but I can't seem to get over this whole experience. I think he is smart, funny and incredibly sexy but I feel stupid for still wanting his companionship. I do want to be married and have kids soon and I know this will not happen with this guy, yet I'm so attached to him. I know I have to move on but I just can't seem to. How do I move on from this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2012): aww sweetie it is time to let him go. He clearly only want you for sex and you are better than that. I am sure you will find someone better than him. You will be unhappy at first but trust me it will surely get better. Good luck and take care :)
A
female
reader, iargwath  +, writes (15 October 2012):
 I think one of the reasons you cannot let go is because you saw this whole situation as a challenge, and you like the chase/drama that came along with it.
Why else would you still be in this unhealthy situation if you know deep down that he is not the right guy for you?
He made it clear that it wasn't anything more than what it is, since he was getting all the perks (sex, attention, affection etc) of a relationship without any real commitment.
I agree with the other two answers here - You need to accept that you deserve better than this and remove this man and his influence from your life. In time, you'll probably wonder why you didn't do it sooner.
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 October 2012):
 You know he is ALL wrong for you, so why do you hold on?
I think it's partly because you are female. We tend to think we can "fix" any guy with enough love. The thing is... you can't. (nor can I )
He doesn't really love you. He likes to have sex on demand with you and thus he got mad and upset when you didn't say yes on his booty call.
Life is TOO short to waste it hoping he will realize what a great girl he has, because he won't. That is not how narcissistic people think.
How do you end it? You call him or heck even text him and tell him you are done and don't want no further contact with him.
After that you "remove" him completely from your life. I agree with AuntieEm - he will try and contact you after you end it, just to see if you will bite. He will pretend to care, just enough that you will see him or have sex with him.
Realize what kind of guy he is, accept it and tell yourself that this is not a guy for you.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (15 October 2012):
 How do you move on?
By cutting all contact and making a concerted effort to drive your life in another direction.
This most definitely IS a FWB situation you are in and you are 100% correct when yo say it will never be a proper relationship.
You are in your mid thirties, there is not much time left for you to start a family you so long for...and this guy is preventing you from having a chance at that.
You are in prison my dear and it's time you let yourself out and slammed the door behind you.
I know where you are at as I wasted 3 years of my life on a man like this, believing he would change and really wanna be with me...it truly is futile.
Adopt no contact:
Change your number/e-mail
Ditch his numbers/e-mail
Do not accept any communication from him at all and do not think you need to give any explaination.
Don't speak of him, don't look at old photos, e-mails or momentoes...
ERASE HIM COMPLETELY.
He will try to make contact (the man I was involved with did several times, but even when I asked him straight, if we would ever be together...he couldn't answer me) he will always come around to give you a poke to see if you still care...then he will use you again and leave you empty again and again and again and again...
Your life is your own, and very precious....choose to live it with someone who has love and respect for you and truly wants to be with you.
Never make someone apriority when they only see you as an option.
Your new life is waiting, he is blocking the way.
CUT THE CORD!!!
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