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In love with my cousin but he broke it off due to "family talk". How can I get him back?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Family, Forbidden love, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 January 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 14 January 2013)
A female United States age 41-50, *zyari writes:

I'm in love with my cousin. We were together first as best friends for years, we be came closer after he got divorced. I helped him get thru it and helped him become more confident. We started hanging out more and more as we were both lonely.

One day we went out and it leaded up to us sleeping together, which kept happening for months, after a while he said he couldn't deal with the "family talk" if they found out about us. He broke my heart I'm still very MUCH in love with him

He can't get past this, and has already stared dating someone new. How do i get him back?

View related questions: best friend, cousin, divorce

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A female reader, mrswaldhauser United Kingdom +, writes (14 January 2013):

mrswaldhauser agony auntI am trying to read this as the story between a woman and a man but I really am struggling. To me, the fact that being able to have a relationship with your cousin is actually legal makes me feel a little queasy. I mean, just think, his parent shares blood with your parent so surely somewhere down the line there is a little of his blood in you and vice versa and that's just downright strange! I think if he has decided to move on you should do the same. It doesn't sound like its going to work. As harsh as it may sound: perhaps you should start looking for love more outside of the family?

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A female reader, mzyari United States +, writes (4 January 2013):

mzyari is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you. Its still heartbreaking since he already started a new relationship with someone else. Now I have to yey and remain composed at all family gatherings :-(

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (4 January 2013):

Honeypie agony auntYou can't get him back. Sorry. He made a choice to not want to make it a relationship. The "family talk" was just a convenient excuse or even a (for him) good excuse - however, he really should have considered that before sleeping with you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2013):

You won't be able to get him back, he's done the right thing. He couldn't live with the shame of being found out he's sleeping with his own cousin, and I'm surprised your skin is thick enough to be able to live with it either. Sorry if that sounds like an attack on you but it wasn't intended that way. Sometimes people have to be cruel to be kind and brutally honest to the point.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (4 January 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyou can't get him back if he doesn't want to be had...

IF he is wise enough to know that he can't cope with the "family talk" then you need to be mature enough to respect this and move on.

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