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In love with a married man. What is my future? Is this a sin??

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 November 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 21 November 2010)
A female India age 41-50, anonymous writes:

i am unmarried and in love with a married man who's 22 years elder than me. He's got his wife and daughter in India and says if he divorced his wife she would commit suicide. I don't want to make her sad either. Currently he works in Dubai. His love for me is wonderful and I can't forget him. It's been 1 year since we started and We both need lots of love and caring and we get it from each other. We haven't met in real life but on the net. He says he's not getting enough love from his wife.we are planing to go to Australia and marry over there without knowing his wife. Is that possible?? Furthermore he says he wants to look after his family sending money and visiting them once a year; I agreed. We cannot live without each other. We are not flirts. Our love is true and genuine. I have never experienced such a love. What would be my future?? Am I right??? Am I committing a SIN?

View related questions: divorce, flirt, married man, money

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A male reader, soon567 United States +, writes (21 November 2010):

I am wondering how he got you to buy off on this without hitting the in laughter. He’s a smooth typist coz this is almost unbelievable. I am trying to picture buying this case of bull. I google Australia but couldn’t get a clear answer. Over the year when he was chatting with you, how did you feel when he was having sex with his wife? Did he tell you all of her problems like cheaters always do? Too bad the one that isn’t cheating has no idea of all these none exiting problems he’s declaring to you. Its always two sides to a story mostly when a woman withhold sex from a man he’s the problem.

“We cannot live without each other.” How are you making now. Is he with you? When someone says this: I think of fake, infatuation with someone, or obsessive behavior. Any way you look at this it’s not a healthy relationship.

Listen, when it’s come to being cheated on its seldom his penis in your vagina that’s the cause a heart break. It’s the emotional toll that hits home, him telling you he loves you, how he wants to be with you, things of that nature that will hurt her at the core. Him f**king you one day want hurt as much as the intimate affections that he’s showing you. Trying to figure out why you’re buying this sack of baloney is beyond me. How you can blame him, he’s telling you upfront except that he’s not leaving his wife for you. He’s probably masturbating to you as you type or call, your just aiding it alone then he goes back and screws his wife. You may just be one of many jerkoff tools he uses.

“He's got his wife and daughter in India and says if he divorced his wife she would commit suicide.” So him walking out on her and the kids is better? How is this any of your concern? How can you even speak of her at what you’re doing? Don’t worry about him. We all know he’s a guy and he’s as any other guy out there is just trying to get off so I don’t blame him a bit in this episode. I keep looking at your age and it has to be a misprint.

“Our love is true and genuine.” He’s sexing his wife. If I stood you and in front of you and ask him a list of questions he could answer, but I bet he could tell me the fast time he got off to your postings. He needs to write a book because it’ll be a best seller. “How to hook an internet mistress” he’s a pro. Ask him how long he been doing this? He got you hooked like a fish.

“I have never experienced such a love.- What would be my future??” Is this your first time being dubbed. You need to thankful this is just one time. Most women repeat this over and over until they just swear off men. Turn gay it’s so bad. I see only heartbreak here and I am sure this one you’re going to experience it for yourself. He has a hold on you even family couldn’t intervene.

“Am I right??? Am I committing a SIN?” Yes you’re correct you about to commit sin. I believe you and him should do whatever you pleases, but leave her out of it. That mean when you get with the cheater make sure both of you submit to STD testing. You don’t want to bring his other wife or wives (who knows how many he has) in on this. Cheater never change they just switch partners. Have you thought what you will say to the next female he marries?

Unbelievable

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A female reader, wanting him back United States +, writes (20 November 2010):

You have never met in real life? And your love is genuine? How can it be so if you do not even know if all is true that he is saying? Anyone can be on the other end of the net telling you these things. I'm sure you THINK you love him, but things are much clearer in the real world. I'm sorry but I think you are playing the fool in this game. Shut off your computer and find a man in the flesh and blood that you can see. It's hard enough to get to know someone for who they are, fall in love, trust them and make a life without them hiding behind a monitor. For all you (or even he knows, for that matter) know, there could be dozens more he (or you) are making these same promises to. There is nothing wrong with meeting someone via the internet, but I would deffinatly have to meet them and spend time with them before I start screaming this is love. Not to mention this man (so he says) has a family. Dont do it!!! My husband left me for another woman, and it killed our daughter...and what do you know now he is cheating on the new woman. Men like this will always convience you they are problems at home. So that they don't look the bad guy, even if they are married to Saint Elizabeth...Honey, don't settle for being the other woman. Yes, he may act as if he is madly in love with you and you give him something she can't. You do at this point, but its called the "new" feeling. And that will wear off with you as well. Then he will be in search for it again. Run, run as far away from your computer as you can. Get dressed up to kill, and go find a man that you can hold at night.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010):

1 YES it is a SIN

2 you are having an affair with a Married man you met on the internet. Not in REAL life but via the net

3 you want to run away to another country and want to marry a married man who will not divorce his wife

4 you want him to commit bigamy?? Then what. The police will haul his sorry ass to the slammer.

5 you are making the biggest mistake of yiur life and you WILL regret it

LoveGirl

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A female reader, FloridaCatGirl United States +, writes (20 November 2010):

FloridaCatGirl agony auntHave you lost your mind? This is absolutely crazy! I realize you are in your 30’s and do not require parental consent… but do your parents know about your plans to run off and marry a man (who refuses to divorce his wife) that you have never met in person? You know nothing about this man… except for what he has chosen to tell you over the computer. You are blinded by love and are not thinking rationally.

You have asked us if it is possible for him to marry you without divorcing his wife. As far as I know… only the first marriage is considered legal. That means… if he decided to leave you someday, you would have no rights to any of his property or money… and he could leave you penniless. As someone else has already stated… in many countries, bigamy is a crime.

Is this a sin? I cannot answer this question, unless I know what religion you follow. In most religions that I am familiar with… yes, it is a sin to marry a man that is already betrothed to another woman.

Your lover said his current wife will commit suicide if he divorces her. Most likely, he is using this as an excuse, so he doesn’t have to divorce her. WHY would you even consider marrying a man who refuses to divorce his wife? Once he gets tired of you… he will go back to his wife.

If you do decide to run off with this man… your future will be full of misery, loneliness, regret, and sadness. You need to cut ties with this man and get some counseling. Let us know what you decide to do. Good luck!

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (20 November 2010):

mystiquek agony auntI'm not going to get into the "is it a sin?" but you are involved with a married man. Of course its wrong! And no, he can't be married and then get married to you, its called BIGAMY. Its a crime in most places. Your future? More than likely you will be very unhappy, because its very unlikely that he will leave his wife for you, regardless of what he says. And when you get older, he'll probably find a younger woman to replace you. He's a cheater, and a liar. Is this what you want for your life?

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A female reader, WinnieThePoohRocks! Ireland +, writes (20 November 2010):

don't be so selfish .. hes got a daughter , if she grows up ina broken home with a father that went offf with some woman she'll be heart broken .. its selfish of both of you .. if hes willin to do this to his wife and daughter or even think of splitin up with her , he clearly doesnt have much respect for woman .. so back off and let him get on with his wife.

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