A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I went through my childhood and most of my teen years being made fun of, and because of that I often feel ugly and fat and unworthy of being loved. I met a guy a few weeks ago who made me feel beautiful and he took me out for the day it was great we had such a good day I honestly thought he was genuinely lovely late on that night he took me down some country lanes i didnt know where i was, he turned the lights off to see if i was scared of the dark then started kissing and groping me all over i told him i didnt want sex but he kept putting my hand on his penis and got it out he put so much preasure on me i was in the middle of no where and nervous I give him oral in the hope that it would be enough and he'd drive me home which he did. Even tho he treated me like that im not stupid and know I've only been used he's ignored me since. Now I really regret it, and am having a hard time getting over it. I feel cheap,dirty and disgusting. Ive never behaved like that before i mean im 23 and still a virgin. I want to get over him, want to forget him. But at the same time, I want to be with him, want him to call me and say he wants a relationship, though I know deep down one would never wok with him and he's obviously not a nice person, the rejection and hurt I feel is eating me up inside, I've told a couple of friends what happened they've been great but when they ain't around to talk to I get upset and think about it again, I dunno how to get over it. I get a lot of attention off men (apparently im really good looking) but I don't trust them as I was sexually abused as a child, im so fed up of feeling like this that I took a chance on him because I want what everyone wants, family, to be loved, children. I thought at 23 it was time I tried, he sweet talked me and everything I can't believe I fell for it. How do I forget? How do I make sure this never happens again?
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cheap, kissing, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (27 January 2012):
 I'll agree that you simply must put this behind you, and that you were probably just used. But it's not at all the end of your world. Just a good lesson in life. Don't stress and move on.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 January 2012):
 He used you and abused you. Even if it was "only" oral it is very akin to rape or assault (IMHO) He took you to a place where he knew he would have all the power and you none.
How do you make sure it never happens again? 1. carry a cell phone and if you end up in a place where you feel trapped you call 911. 2. Stand up for yourself and tell the guy NO! 3. You get out of the car or even better do not get into a car with a guy you don't really know that well. 4. TAKE your time getting to know a guy, hang out in public places with other people around.
You don't need a guy to validate you. If this POS could make you feel beautiful, it is because you are.
Do NOT contact this guy, do NOT talk to him if he does call, because you know what? He might try for rape next time. This guy had no respect for you, no love, no nothing. I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't the first girl he did this too.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
You deserve so much better.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (26 January 2012):
 A wise soul once told me to not stress about the things I cannot control. I cant control some of the looks I get in public for whatever reason or why some idiot who works for delta would go on a racist rant about arabs. Like yourself, you could control this man's bad intention. You cannot control what he was thinking or even why he was thinking the way he was that nite. He's the guy with issues, not yourself. I'll suggest counseling if you feel as tho your abusive past will have an affect on your future with any guy. Thats not easy to overcome I could imagine. Good luck. Head up doll.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (26 January 2012):
 i am sorry this happened to you, it was not your fault. he was not a nice guy. he may have got what he wanted and now he will be off to the next girl. you did what you could to keep him from advancing further , but you will have to put him out of your mind. their is a nice guy out there for you. so don't give up.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 January 2012):
 Sometimes, the dream of that day when "your Prince will come" can cloud your sensible thinking.... and that seems to be the case here.
This guy was a RAT and should be accorded no more thought and attention than a RAT is entitled to (read: NONE!!!).
Then, spend all your time and mental energy focusing upon yourself and what a great girl YOU are, and how you made a mistake with this RAT.... and you will not be repeating that mistake.... and will get on with a darn-good life (with this RAT in your rear-view mirror!!!)....
Good luck...
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