A
female
age
36-40,
*eccamega
writes:My brother is 19 and dropped out of his coarse. He has been looking for work, but in this economy it isn't easy. He isn't sure what he wants to do.Also his best friend committed suicide recently. It was a shock to everyone, including him. My brother didn't really talk about it, my whole family is like that.Coz he hasn't found work yet, he sleeps in alot and doesn't have money to go out. My sister and I have tried getting hi out of the house. E.g Having coffee, a movie, something to eat etc. But he never wants to go and has no motivation.My parents don't help at all and just yell and get super mad at him. A depressed person is really frustrating, but their behaviour doesn't help. My dad thinks depression doesn't really exist. My parents think that seeing a therapist is "weak" and costs too much [even though my dad is always buying yet another motor bike]. They say things like "oh no the mental ward will be next", " great how much is this going to cost me" [that's all my dad worries about]. What do I do?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 your brother needs a doctor. he needs medication and therapy.... is there a trusted family member that can speak to your parents if he needs their medical to get help?
why can't you and your brother make the appointments and get him the help why are your parents needed for this?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): Can you persuade your brother to see a doctor? Does he have any other friends who'd be willing to help you try to persuade him? He does need help.
He's lucky to have such understanding sisters. Try phoning "The Samaritans" (do you have them in Australia?), or look for support groups or advice lines to contact.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Are you living on your own? It sounds like you are still living at home with your brother as well. Help him by making an example. Motivate by showing him what you can do with YOUR life. Move out. Get yourself a job. Get yourself up on your feet and grow independence. Inspire him by living your life the way you want him to live his, but do not put pressure on him. Just live as a source for inspiration. Talk to him differently than his parents. Rather than mope and whine about costs of things and "mental wards", be a breath of fresh air with a different mindset. Stand up to your parents when they put him down.
If your father says depression doesn't exist, stand up against it. Tell him it does. Dare to have that argument with him. Show your brother that you are strong, and that he can also find strength within himself. Do not tell him to be strong, just show him how it is done. Get the ball rolling, and he might start to follow in your path slowly.
But, ultimately he must do this by himself. Unlike what the other poster said. He needs the support from family and friends, but if a person is not willing to help themselves then he will not get better no matter what everyone else around him does.
If your brother tries to harm himself you can have him put in a clinic against his will. But that is the extreme, and lets hope it does not come to that point.
My advice is that you need to do what you feel you can do, dependent on your relationship with your family and brother. Do what YOU think will be best for your brother.
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A
male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (27 March 2012):
Hi - you need to act on this quickly - he sounds very vunlerable at the moment and he needs help for the depression.
Take him to a doctor so that he can get some medication for the depression. The doctor will be able to recommend the next steps after that.
Please dont think that he will pull out of this by himself... he needs the help of his family sooooo much. He wont be able to do it by himself.
you're on the right track asking people questions about how to help him, but at some point you need to also act on the advice.
Very best of luck
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