A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How can I get my dad to keep in contact with me again?. Ww get on well sometimes, and I am like my dad in some ways because we like the same things, and I even get my looks from his side of the family, but we have clashed a lot too. We can both have a short fuse. I am autistic, and I sometimes think that my dad has something that he hasn't been diagnosed with too. Je is 73 years old, so it probably wasn't diagnosed as much when he was younger. I was only diagnosed last year at the age of 31 after having an assessment just after I came out of hospital because of mental health problems. I think my family have found it hard to accept my mental health problems and me being autistic. My mum and grandma both fell out with me for a while too, but we are back in contact now and see each other. My dad and I haven't spoken for months. I think he can be very stubborn. I have had by flat decorated recently, and I would really like my dad to come and see it. Last time he saw me, there were no carpets in my flat, and it needed to be painted. I live in a council flat, and struggled to get it done up for a long time. I miss my dad so much, and I know he would be amazed with how the flat looks, and he would be proud. Having the flat looking nice had also helped a little bit with my mental health. Of course, I still have bad days, but not as much at the moment. I have tried to call and text him and told him.about my flat in text messages, and even asked him to come and have a look, but he hasn't responded. I cry a lot, blaming myself because of my mental health problems and being autistic. Things got to me last night and I was hysterically crying. I dont want to end up back in hospital again. I know it must hurt my dad, but at the end of the day, I am still his daughter, and he shouldn't cut off contact completely. It is also hard for him because my stepmother is very ill with arthritis too. Life is too short, and who knows how much longer my dad will be here?.I got angry sometimes and blamed my parents for what I have got , as they created me. I know that must have hurt, but it also hurts me having a disability that people dont understand, that some people are prejudiced against, and that gives me panic attacks, meltdowns, makes me feel confused, and makes me hate myself.Other people should understand and sympathise with how horrible and difficult being autistic is for the person who has it.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2016): Its very kind of you to want your dad over to the flat but as he hasnt contacted you back you shouldnt take it personally.
He may be busy with your step mum or even not very well himself!
While you downgrade yourself for being autistic you could remember that it is not something you can pick and choose about.
It is a fact of life and you are Gods unique creation!
I always think children with disabilities are old souls who come back to earth to complete another challenge and they just take the ticket on Gods trust and travel back through eternity.
You dont have to agree to that but i have met some very impressive people in damaged bodies.
Autism is a very specialized thing and although you may have been a handful at one time as a youngster you have clearly put in a comendable effort.
Loving your dad is good but stubborn dads are difficult to change especially once they are set in their ways.
Your dad may have a different phone number now so you could try to contact him another way!
Meanwhile embark upon your life as if dad is only two houses away but on a different rythmn and find more things for you to embark on that will make you happier as a person because dad wont be there forever and knowing you are getting on with your life will make him smile!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (15 July 2016):
 Why not invite him and your stepmom around for dinner or lunch? And stay away from topics that makes you two fight.
Unfortunately, you can't "make" him do anything he doesn't want to, but you can TRY and reach out.
You write:
"Other people should understand and sympathise with how horrible and difficult being autistic is for the person who has it."
Many people won't, because they don't understand it. Like being color blind, it's something not everyone can wrap their head around. To expect that others "should" do this or that is only going to make you upset, because it WILL NOT happen. And autism isn't just "one" thing, it comes in a myriad of variations, depending on where on the spectrum you are.
Are you seeing a counselor or therapist? To deal with the anxiety? If not, maybe it's something to consider?
Instead of seeing the autism as something negative only, find the thing about YOU that makes you special BECAUSE of autism.
http://thestir.cafemom.com/being_a_mom/142027/10_inspiring_people_with_autism
http://autismmythbusters.com/general-public/famous-autistic-people/
...............................
|
