A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I feel like an emotional wreck right now.I had a relationship for a year. We were like soulmates, a mirror image of each other, we had such a strong bond, we were prefect together - apart form the fact we really lacked passion. And that led to us breaking up, just after Christmas.I started seeing someone the first week in February, very casual, but I'm so, so sexually and physically attracted to him, total opposite of my ex. We get along great, but not as great as I did with my ex, and I can't help but keep comparing this with my ex, I KNOW I shouldn't!But this new guy is also a bit younger, less experienced in relationships.This past week my new guy and I have gone through a bit of a rocky patch. He was a bit selfish sexually in the beginning - I think again due to lack of experience, and we had an arguement last week because he was selfish again in one incident. We just seem to have not got on as well since then.It doesn't help that my ex text me a couple of days ago, which led to a text xonversation, leading to us both agreeing about the bond that we shared, that we shouldn't lose touch, and that we would both like to meet for a drink.I want to see him, I miss him, and I wish we would have worked out. I wish we had the passion but I know it would never work out.I'm really into this other guy but I feel like maybe the relationship is going to suffer because he's not my ex.What's wrong with me? What do I want?
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (8 March 2008):
 I think this new relationship is suffering because of this guy's "selfishness" not your ex and it's easy to compare and fall back into what's comfortable. I tend to think we break up for a good reason and move on. Who says you have to be with someone? Why go back to a situation that wasn't working and compare it to a current situation that isn't working? Date other people or take a break from dating to figure out what qualities are important to you in a man. Sounds like you're not too sure about that but you do know what you don't like! Write out a list of things you are looking for and don't settle!
A
female
reader, Annalisa +, writes (8 March 2008):
 You need to get your priorities right: if you are in love with your ex and you get on like a house on fire, get back together and try to work on the physical aspect of your relationship.
I know it can be very frustrating to be with someone with a lower libido and less passionate than you, but if he knows it bothers you, he can try harder. You could also meet him half way.
I could suggest you leave both and look for a man to satisfy both demands, but you might look for ever and still miss the man you truely love!
God bless you and good luck!
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