A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:PLEASE HELP IM FALLING OUT OF LOVE.. me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years we have a 2 year old son, and about one year ago we bought a house, he is the one who earns the money even though i do work i don't earn much. i have fallen out of love. i look at other men and always wonder what it would be like in a diferent relationship! i need advice on where to go now.. how do i tell him? is it worth losing security and nice things for my son? is money more important then my happines?
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male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Money and happiness aren't mutually exclusive. Some people have both.
We live in a world of equal opportunity.
You can always let your boyfriend have custody of the boy allowing you the opportunity to develop your own career. You could return to education, join a company training scheme or start your own business. You can provide your own security without having to rely on someone else.
Good luck
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 March 2008):
 Money cannot guarantee you happiness.
Another man may not guarantee you happiness.
The grass is not always greener on the other side.
People fall in and fall out of love.
You have lost your focus.
Think of the first time when you fell in love with him...
Do you want to trade in your security and son for something unknown out there?
Or will you be like a canary and fly into another cage which is worse than now?
You have everything and yet you are so unhappy.
Learn to love him
and look at him from another woman's perspective.
You are so lucky , for other woman would love to be in your shoes.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (8 March 2008):
If you spend your life chasing money that is all you will ever have.
It is an old proverb but also a very very true one.
Staying with your husband unhapilly will continue to get you down if you feel there is no reverse of this and it is only a matter of time before your boy will begin to sense this and get very hurt by it all too.
You may have security in this relationship as far as the pounds are concerned but when did money ever make anybody truly happy.
Where I originally come from in London they have a lovely saying:
Money talks - but it doesn't have a concience.
Have a think about it and good luck in making a difficult decision. Try not to place anything over your contentment and happiness though as if you do, you will never be a truly happy person.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): You seem to be asking for confirmation that it's OK to leave your husband. You want to characterize this as a love or money question. It's not. You should honor your marriage and your husband, if you chose not to do so, you may find some form of happiness in the short run, but the same issues will come up again in your next relationship. You have fallen out of love? Really, that sounds very immature to me. I think you have very unrealistic expectations.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (8 March 2008):
 Believe me, I know what you're going through as I was in this situation at your age.
It is easy to look for an escape when the situation you are in is not feeling as fulfilling as you thought it was going to be. It can feel like a dead end.
Right now, even though you are feeling all these attractions and realize you could possibly be with the wrong person, now is not the time to act on that.
I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with how you're feeling but you are going to have to compartmentalize it. Your 2 yr old son needs both parents and you are just "falling out of love" which is does not give you the right to just have an affair or leave. You have a house, a child, and pretty much a husband whether you want him or not.
What I did in your situation was changed my thought process. My son's welfare was more important to me (and I know it is to you) than my attractions and restlessness.
I took this opportunity to go back to school, pick up some hobbies and really focus on my child. You won't get this opportunity if you decide to become a single parent or destroy what you have with a new man. Your relationship will suffer with your child in those 2 cases. I stayed another 7 yrs until my son was older and his foundation with both his Dad and I had been solidified. It still wasn't easy then when we split, far from easy on my son.
Your child's imprinting years (where he/she learns love, trust, confidence) is still being formed and will continue to form for the next few years. This is your job.
Marriage counseling would also be a great time right now to get refocused.
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