A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Im 18yrs old and i just got married about 3 months ago. I find myself becoming more and more depressed, i dont even wanna wake up in the morning. I started feeling this way about 2months ago, its makes me wonder if its bc i wasnt ready to get married. I love my husband, but maybe i wasnt IN love with him. I kinda just feel like i rushed myself into this, and now im scared and feeling trapped. About 2 weeks ago i met this other man, we've just been talking and i wont take it to the next step bc im married and i respect that and so does he- but i have feelings for him that ive never ever had for my husband, i cant stop thinking about him and im falling for this man! Now on top of already being depressed i cant stop thinking about another man!!! i tried to stop talking to him but it makes me feel even worse!! i dont wanna eat nor talk to anymore. all i do is cry. i feel so lost and dont know what to do. I dont wana leave my husband, but maybe thats what needs to happen. Thanks for reading this. all ur answers will help!!!
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female
reader, metoo1124 +, writes (25 February 2009):
 I know exactly how you feel. i was with my boyfriend for 4 years i broke up with him for a "summer fling" i got pregnant by the "summer fling" 3 months later 2 months after that we got married. week after the wedding i had a miscarriage. it has been 4 months since the wedding and i feel so depressed like i was meant for so much more than this. i have no friends i am not sexually attracted to my husband anymore at all. i feel repulsed at the thought of sex. i feel trapped tricked into marriage and i want a divorce but i am too embarrassed to get one. and on top of all that i miss the one i was with for 4 years.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): Follow your heart, is it all in there. Are you sure the other man wants to be with you? You may be romanticizing the other man because he reminds you of the time when you were young and free to date. Leaving away from your husband can help you figure things out. Do not feel sorry for your husband or guilty for breaking the marriage. There must be a reason why you feel this way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wanna start off with thanking yall for all your help. Ive talked to my husband and told him how i was feeling and what was going on, there was no way i could hide it from him. He's very understanding and he just wants me to be happy, but i know it kills him to think about me not being in his life. We've talked about spliting for a little while and me going to stay with my mom for a time- but i have a feeling thats just gonna make things worse for the both of us. But maybe time appart will help me relize how much i really do love him. Thanks again for all ur help.
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A
male
reader, roadman  +, writes (31 December 2008):
 You got married to young Mrs..You needed to live a little before getting married,but hey its only a bit of paper..Follow your heart if you feel to have fun then do so!
If your husband is making you feel depressed then you'll need space from him,it would be wise to share this info with him so you can both work out whats to happen next,but you can't have it all your own way something going to have to give..Its all going to depend on how understanding your hubby is.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): This is a perfect example of why early marriages is a bad idea.
Since you are now married, I suggest you put some serious work into trying to make it work before moving on. As in, talk to your husband and talk to him about your thoughts. Don't just give up. Your commited to something and you should at least stick to it for a little while.
You must've thought, seriously, about spending the rest of your life with your husband. He must've made you really happy, happy enough, special enough to marry him, surely?
Start thinking constructively rather than just feeling sorry for yourself, and things will start changing.
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (31 December 2008):
 Sometimes the come down after a wedding does make us feel real low the excitement to the build up and everything is huge now it is all over your left feeling really low i feel though this is going further and further into a depression and i would suggest you go to see your doctor and talk all this through how your feeling about how you do not want to get up in the morning, this is not normal for your age so see a doctor and discuss all this he/she will be able to help you and give you many things you can do to help yourself. I would forget the other man you do not need to be adding to your troubles and it is wrong your just married and can't stop thinking about this man! your maybe not thinking properly when we are depressed we don't, we get all sorts of things going through our head and we think their is an instant cure and maybe this other man your talking to is helping you forget some of your worries but beleive me it will make things ten times worse if you were to pursue anything untoward with him. Speak with your doctor and see what help you can be given and i would ask you talk all this through with your new husband i am sure he will be just as worried at his new bride feeling this way think of him in all of this too he must be worried sick you are just married and already your feeling like this please make the effort to talk to him and try and work through this with the proper help and care you can and will feel much better about everything take care.
Gina
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A
male
reader, PeterPan + ♥, writes (31 December 2008):
 I think you're on the right track here -- an affair is definitely not going to help you at all. At the same time, fears of facing your husband the next morning isn't helping either. I agree with the counseling... definitely agree with trying to figure out what this other guy has that your husband doesn't and using that as a focus point...
But, the very next thing that crosses my mind is if you've taken this subject and discussed it with your husband? How's he feeling? Is he silently suffering too? Are you both afraid of hurting the other? ...these are just questions you might want to rattle around for a while and see if they offer any insight. Also, a close friend or family member might be able to just listen to you vent a little bit and shed some light on your situation.
Best wishes!
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A
female
reader, katatonik +, writes (31 December 2008):
 What does this other man offer that your husband does not?
If you can identify that, you have a starting point for what you and your husband need to work on TOGETHER if you wish to preserve your marriage. Seek couples counseling with your husband, if you can--a professional will be able to examine your situation in far more detail and depth.
Good luck.
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