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I'm self-conscious about my body, I'm afraid that when we have sex he'll tell his friends about it!

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 15 August 2008)
A female Canada age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I'm self concious of my body and am scared to have sex for the first time because i fear that he won't like my body and will tell all his friends about it. Are guys usually like this. please help!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008):

It really depends on how well you know him, how well you know him and how much you trust him.

I'm a 16 year old guy and i have a few friends who have been real assholes and liked to brag about chicks they've had sex with etc, but one thing i can tell you for sure is to not give him photos or videos of yourself naked because i can guarantee that his mates will see it at school most guys just cant help showing guys that kind of shit i know that last bit was a little off topic :P

good luck

Robbie.

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A female reader, sexi South Africa +, writes (31 July 2008):

sexi agony auntHi

If you have any doubt about this guy then maybe you should reconsider your decision to have sex with him. You need to be sure that it is something that you really want to do. you should trust your partner and be certain that it is something you want to and you are not being forced into doing something for all the wrong reasons.Does your bf seem like the type of person that will tell his friends. If a guy really likes you he would do something like that (belittle you infront of his friends) Just think carefull before doing something you mi9ght regret.

Regards

Mail me if you wanna talk

Sexi

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (31 July 2008):

I think that if he cares about you and you've made him wait then he would never discuss your body or even notice there was anything wrong with it.

Unless you have a giant tattoo of your mother's face on your stomach he will be focused entirely on all your good bits.

However, you really should have gotten pretty naked with him way before having sex. Why are you jumping straight to sex if he's never even got past your bra before?

You should get really comfortable with him seeing you minus clothing before you have sex or you are going to be so nervous that it will really hurt.

Good Luck!! xx

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A male reader, baddogbj China +, writes (31 July 2008):

baddogbj agony auntIt would be a pretty unusual thing for a man or a boy to tell other men details about a girl that he has had sex with. It is not something that men do and if you have any real reason to suspect that he is the kind that might be an exception to the rule then stay well away from him.

Please don't rush to have sex unless you feel totally ready for it.

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A male reader, daletom United States +, writes (31 July 2008):

If he IS like that, he was a poor choice for your first partner. Or, for that matter, any partner. In fact - at your age, and especially after seeing this question - I'm not sure that having a sex partner is a good idea for you at all.

Speaking as a male guy person of the masculine sex, I can assure you that a certain level of physical attraction is important but the MOST important organ for sexual satisfaction is located between the ears. And even the "physical attraction" thing varies a LOT from guy to guy.

Can you be honest with yourself? Is there a REAL reason a guy won't like your body? (I presume you're talking about some-generic-guy-who-I-will-give-my-virginity-to-when-it's-right, not this-specific-guy-I-don't-really-know-but-have-decided-to-have-sex-with.) Now, there ARE things that will be a turn-off to many (not all) guys. When you have sex, your partner will know if you have that condition, and accept it or look past it. If not - you shouldn't have had sex with that guy. When it comes to most of the things you're probably worried about - big boobs, or small boobs, or wide hips, or skinny legs, or green eyes, etc, etc - some guys WILL be turned off. Some will be turned on! And most will accept it as part of what makes you, YOU.

Some things you don't like about your body (your height, for instance) are impossible or impractical to change. Other things (for most people, weight) can be altered but you may not think the effort or cost is worth the benefit. And some things (like hairstyle or makeup) are actually quite easy to alter - like Nike says, you just need to do it!

I hope you're not trying to be a satisfying sex partner to every guy out there. You only need to satisfy ONE of them. I have chosen to let my whiskers grow into a complete beard. It's groomed - some have described me as looking like a "professor" or a "rabbi". (Neither title is accurate.) I am well aware that some women think "facial hair" is the creepiest thing imaginable in a bed partner. That's totally irrelevant! I don't have to satisfy the statistical category of "some women" - my wife happens to like it, thinks it looks manly and distinguished, and loves some of things we can do with it in bed.

Look around you at couples with stable, long-term relationships. I don't mean your friends at school, but rather older couples - even your parents' age. How many of them have bodies that are close to ideal? Ask yourself, "What did he/she ever see in her/him?". Then, if you are very brave, ask that question of the couple! Only, phrase it more like "How did you come to be a couple, and what has kept you together?". I suspect you'll learn that you're worried about the wrong things.

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (31 July 2008):

Honeygirl agony auntSweetie, you need to address your self-esteem issues... by having sex its not going to change the way you see yourself. And, yes.. there are guys out there who have to reveal all the details once they have had sex with a girl.. why not rather wait until you meet someone who loves you and will cherish you? There is no stigma attached to saving yourself for marriage, so rather wait than rush into anything you might regret!

Honeygirl

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A female reader, heatherrrrrrr United States +, writes (31 July 2008):

heatherrrrrrr agony auntIf this is how you are feeling, it may be your own way of letting yourself know you aren't ready for full intercourse. As you get a little older and more confident, so will the boys you date, and they will be less likely to brag to their friends.

It could also be that the guy you are worried about having sex with is not a great guy, not someone you should lose your virginity to. Even if you ARE ready for sex, choosing the right partner is very important. If you have doubts like these that you feel you can't discuss with your partner, you definitely shouldn't have sex with him.

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