A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 4 months pregnant with my fiance's baby, but i want out of this relationship, i have found conversations from emails and facebook that are just inappropriate and disrespectful, where the conversations are sometimes about our personal relationship. The first time i saw a message it was one that suggested he had sex with this woman who is his ex, he denied it and apologised he said they were just talking crap, he stated it wont happen again but it did with similar nature with other female friends of his after the third time i decided that was it! We had a heated argument few months ago which i decided i had enough of this relationship ,but i found i was pregnant, i told him i wanted to end the relationship and the pregnancy but i some how think he is using this pregnancy to keep me in the relationship. It is too late for an abortion anyway now i think but i am lost, confused, depressed frustrated and everything else i havent gone to any pre natal visits yet because i just wish it would go away.Our relationship is heading downhill, i tried to move past those things but i cant, it affects me so deeply i dont want to get intimate with him i soetimes want him to just leave e alone. I have had experience with that type of thing in the past thats why i want out. Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou guys are certainly right but i however went to the clinic today to make an appointment, i think i stayed because when things are good they are really really good between us so i thought it might be worth trying to save our relationship not necessarily for the baby but because we had a great relationship no stress fights anything he was wonderful to e otherwise but he chose to mess things up, who knows it may have been worth saving but i dont trust him so i should just end it. But thanks for the advice and the support i've already started making a list of baby items so i am going to focus my attention on my baby.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (14 June 2013):
 I agree don't take it out on the baby that you are done with him and the relationship.
You can still adopt the child out or go solo parenting, many many women do that and do it successfully. Don't let him be a millstone around your neck.
And yes, I too would end the relationship, baby or no baby on the way.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 June 2013):
 First of all, do go to prenatal visits. You know you just won't wish your baby away, you did not terminate the pregnancy while you still could, so know you are going to have a baby, whether you are enthusiastic about it or less so. Might as well do all you can to have a healthy pregnancy, and a safe delivery , and a healthy baby. Neglecting yourself and the baby because you are mad at the father is as foolish , irresponsible and crazy as cutting off your nose to spite your face.
Said that, personally I don't think there's much you can do but calling it quits ( and hopefully make sure that the baby's father pays chid support ). You cannot trust your partner, since you caught him three times in inappropriate behaviours after he promised repeatedly to stop. It's Ok giving a second chance, ... but not infinite second chances , at some point you have to draw the line and it sounds you had done it already and you just stayed because of the pregnancy. Now though you have a partner you cannot trust, and don't want to be intimate with, and, all in all, it sounds you are fed up with him and don't love him any more- so that I wonder what's your quandary ( unless is a financial dilemma , which, unluckily , is bound to have a weight in your decision ). It would seem an open-and-shut case, you don't like the guy, you won't like him any better just because he will be a dad.
Whatever you decide, though, please remember to take care of your prenatal health and try to have as much as possible a ( relatively ) stress free pregnancy, this baby may not have been particularly desired but once you have accepted to keep it, it's your duty to take good care of it . And of yourself , of course. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2013): There is absolutely no reason why you can't leave him even pregnant!Why stay if he is being so horrible. The baby is a lovely gift - take care of her. Go to the doctor, you shouldn't punish the baby. It won't go away, you understand this, whether you like it or not, you are pregnant. You need to get it prenatal care. You can still walk away and lead a great life - he'll just have to be in your life visiting the baby here and there. Be a grown woman - move out and get prenatal care for the baby.
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