A
female
age
30-35,
MissTopCat
writes:Hi, I hope that someone out there can give me some advice. I feel like I'm going a little crazy and I just don't know what to do.I have recently come off of anti depressants (about 4 months ago) after being on them for around 9 years, I was initially prescribed them when I went away to university because I started suffering from Anxiety and Panic attacks. For the first few years I went from one med to another until I was finally prescribed Cipramil around 6 years ago, when I started taking this med it really turned my life around helped brilliantly with my anxiety and also gave me back my confidence and self-esteem. As with some SSRI's I suffered from side effects - mainly loss of libido. So earlier this year, after a pretty disasterous relationship in which this became a real problem, I decided to approach my GP about changing my meds. She prescribed me Mirtazipan which didnt agree with me at all, i became very depressed and anxious and after alot of soul searching (and a consoltation with a psychiatrist. Where i was told I'd pretty much exhuasted all my options when it came to the meds) I decided to try coming off completely. I figuered that I didnt want to spend the rest of my life having to explain why I didnt feel like having sex. Anyway, I have been med free for around 4 months now and I just feel so low a lot of the time, my moods are erratic and I am suffering from anxiety on a regular basis.Everyone keeps telling me "I'm doing really well" but inside i'm struggling to hold it together. Im unhappy with a lot of things in my life - job, money etc but i simply dont feel confident or strong enough to change them any more. I feel like my life has ground to a halt and I dont know how to move forward. Im constantly tempted to go back on the meds - ive had CBT and am waiting for counselling and anxiety management classes but I just feel so unhappy - like i dont know who I am anymore and as for the sex drive, Im so nervous around new people It really doesnt make any difference at the moment. However the idea of being on meds for the rest of my life really upsets me (and the lack of sex drive if i do meet someone new). I still feel theres a real stigma attatched to taking them and i cant help feeling like i've failed if i go back on them and what if nothing changes and im still as unhappy with my life in a years time? I just dont know how long i can go on like this for. Will things get better with time - people keep telling me they will but im not sure i believe it..... :-(
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confidence, depressed, libido, money, sex drive, university Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (8 April 2008):
 The people in your life that are telling you that you don't need the medications are ignorant- they don't understand the daily battle you have to fight from time you get out of bed until you get back into bed- it can be a battlefield of your mind. They mean well, they think you can just snap out of it but that's an unfair expectation of you and for you to have of yourself. Would you expect somebody that had a slow metabolism to eat all they wanted and get mad at them for gaining weight because you had a high metabolism? NO! I wouldn't even ask those people about it or talk with them about your medication- it's damaging and very tempting to think you can just be normal - your goal should be "functional".
"I just dont know how long i can go on like this for"- this is a signal for you to go back to your doctor or schedule an appointment with a new one. This is not your fault and you don't need to feel so low and bad all the time. Being on medication the rest of your life isn't such a bad reality when you get the relief and quality of life you deserve on the right ones. Please do this for yourself.
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (7 April 2008):
If you have been diagnosed with an illness, you need to take medication, it's just too much of a struggle dealing with so much anxiety and depression- one that you shouldn't have to go through. It's not your fault and when you don't take the medication you need, you have to fight so hard to feel normal it slowly erodes your motivation and will to live. There is such a stigma that someone who truly has a biological illness must have some sort of personality disorder and that is so untrue. No one has to know you are on medication and it's not anyone's business what your medical condition is. I understand the frustration of finding a combination of medications that work well for you and the side effects of switching meds and getting on a normal cycle. The problem when you quit your medication cold turkey, is that as the medication wears off you feel wierd, then plateau, and then spiral downward and end up back at the doctor only to start the same process over again. This is frustrating and exhausting. If you suffer from a chemical imbalance and go off medication, things will only get worse. I would suggest finding another psychiatrist who is willing to explore different medications than your current one. Some doctors just prescribe the same gamut of medication to everyone in a one size fits all fashion- this is what happened to me. Sometimes finding the right combination can take awhile but you have to commit to it and find a doctor willing to work with you.
I had similar experiences with side effects, to name a few, from lithium/ritalin and then switching to tegretol/adderall/zoloft combo which antidepressants made me crazy so switched from that to trileptal/ritalin which didn't work and now on just Lamictal and seems to be okay. Everyone's system reacts differently to different medication. People will react very differently to your illness and they way I look at it- it's just like a diabetic that needs insulin. You can't afford not take your medication. No one has a right to know if you suffer from depression or anxiety- it's your business and they don't get a vote!! It is much more noticable that something is wrong with you if you aren't taking care of yourself like you need to- when I went off medication cold turkey people thought I was on drugs and when I take my medication regularly, they would never know I have a chemical imbalance. Please please don't let how society views your problem as your weakness- it's not.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): i have just come off zoloft and alprax for anxiety and panic disorder. i am recovering well and now take avanza mainly for imsomnia. i have been on them before with no nasty side effects. i have found my disorder stemmed from years of mental and physical abuse. i am 45 and only now for the first time am living free from abuse. the panic and anxiety attacks have gone and i no longer cut myself. my most recent abuser was my 13 yr old step son. i am only 5ft 2 and 45 kgs and he is 63kgs and same height but alot stronger than me. this was my answer to freeing myself from the inner turmoil. i now live with my 21yr old son and only have 3 bags clothes,sewing machine and a bed in their dining room.i have never been happier. i will have my horse soon and get my qualifications in teaching riding and have work ready lined up with disabled children. this is the answer- inner peace and happiness. be selfish in the sense of doing what is necessary to make yourself happy and live in peace. i have a very strong faith and read good christian books and only listen to positive music. i dont accept abuse or disrespect from any one anymore.i am worth more than that.
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A
female
reader, BadAsh6705 +, writes (17 January 2008):
 I would agree that this will definitly be a process that will take awhile to adjust to. 9 years is a long time to be on anti-depressants...usually those types of meds are made to be a temprorary fix, so I would suggest trying your best to learn to deal with these feelings instead of covering them up with medications.
I have suffered from anxiety which ranges in severity and is sometimes frequent and sometimes not there at all...a lot of people do. All of us worry and stress about things every day, but it is something that is a part of life and is never going to go away.
I do have a few suggestions to help when you are feeling anxious. The thing that always worked best for me is to lay flat on your back on your bed or couch (somewhere quiet and comfortable) and concentrate on your breathing. Breathe in and out deeply...I usually take a deep breath in and hold it for 3 seconds and then exhale and hold for 3 sec. I used to do this when I would wake in the middle of the night with anxiety to help me get back to sleep.
Another thing that will help you immensely is counseling. Just having someone to talk to, someone to listen and help you focus your thoughts on all the reasons you have to be happy and let go of your worries and fears will do wonders!
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (16 January 2008):
 Firstly, I think you are very brave going cold turkey, well done you!
Secondly, feeling down after coming off meds even after 4 months is very natural and part of the transition process.
Do not giving, this wave is part of the ride.
There are alternative, ex: St Johns Wort tablets (available in any chemist)have provide som comfort to many people.
As to the unhappy feeling, there is no pill (without effects, conditions that will give you that).
You may wish to consider reading a good book on self help, to build your self esteem, learning to love yourself will give you the longest and desired effect you seek.
You have nothing to loose.
Look at life as the bigger picture, you are here for a reason and whilst here you might as well enjoy it, so make the most of it!
Sure, you probably thinking, "Easier said than done".
But it does work, you need to re-train your brain to have positive thoughts.
Every time you get a lapsing feeling, think about something else happy that will make you smile and do a task straight away to keep you busy, the key is not to stay in that position dwelling in bad thought, physical or emotional.
Write positive/happy thoughts in post-its and leave them on fridge, mirrors, bathroom, coffee table, work, etc.
At home you can keep the personal ones like what you like about your self and read them at least 3 times a day.
Councelling will help aswell, hopefully soon you will be having those.
Just remember that the best councellor you have is You, listen to your heart and above all do not forget to love yourself.
Depression never goes away completly but it can get better with determination and sence of self worth and support from those around you.
Put all your efforts in doings things you enjoy in life rather then if you should go back on meds or not.
Wishing you all the joy and love in the world
Take care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): My advise is this: Go back on your meds. Find a good therapist you can talk to weekly about what you're going through, how you're feeling and go for spiritual counseling. Depression of this magnitude is an attack from Satan himself and developing a spiritual relationship with Christ may do wonders to eliviate the demons that are knocking on your door. If you find help through this method, taper off your meds gradually but don't go cold turkey, and if you begin to feel completely overwhelmed again, like you're feeling right now, then you need to go back on them again. Don't feel guilty just do it, especially if they help you. God can help you get through all things, even depression, even a low sex drive. Pray and begin to seek His guidance and I believe things will turn around for you. Good luck, and God bless.
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