A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Am I being unreasonable or is he? Husband called me a spy and says he doesnt want to be anywhere near me. He wants to divorce me! Why? because I 'smelt a rat' (again),I checked his mobile phone bill to discover he has been texting smutty jokes to a female.Between 6 and 12 per day, always when I'm not around, 1 to 2 minutes apart.However, he has deleted them from his phone? He never deleted his messages until now!! Just over a year ago, I caught him doing the same thing.We almost split through it and he admitted he had disrespected me in doing this. We were fine until recently when he has again become disinterested in me, disrespectful towards me and unloving.Now he keeps his phone with him at all times, hides his diary/filofax, and doesnt tell me where he is going, when he is working etc.He gets so defensive at me even looking at his diary, and I honestly just wanted to see what shifts he was working, in order to arrange 'nice time' for us both together. He calls me unreasonable, and I agree I should not pry, however, he has given me reason to suspect something is going on. Can he divorce me for my unreasonable behaviour, even if I can give good reason to justify it? I am not sure that I want to stay with this man, and go through this again and again, but neither do I want the trauma of divorce, and especially if I am expected to pay the costs, as the one being divorced!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 October 2010):
I'm telling you now, he wants out of this marriage. He wanted out last year when he started these texts. I would even bet that he's having an affair to be honest, or is very close. His behaviour screams of a man having an affair. You're wasting time on a marriage that is now basically over. He's checking out of this marriage. He can divorce you, and I suppose he could say it was your behaviour. But throw it back, divorce HIM and say it's unreasonable behaviour. You are being walked over by your husband, and it's time to step up and clean him out and move on.
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