A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so I'm 14 and I have a huge problem. I'm a flirt. I know it, everyone knows it. There's this cycle I go thru with almost every single guy I've known.1. I get their number2. We text and flirt3. I send pics4. He stops talkingIt's seriously annoying. Sometimes they won't stop talking and flirt more but I can never have a boyfriend cuz I'm known as a flirt and whore. I've never even made out with a guy. HOW AM I A WHORE?! really. I know it's my fault but I can't help it. No lie. I'll say I won't and I won't for like 3 days..... then the next guy comes along. I honestly cant help it. I don't know, I just always do it even if I don't want to. I'm not a whore..... so what is my problem??? I need helpp! xoxo
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): Your problem is not you.
No - you aren't a whore. Don't let anyone tell you this. Your problem is that you're dealing with a bunch of 14 (or around there) year old guys. I wish I could tell you that they grow up, that they mature, that this will go away for you. I would be a liar. I'm sorry that you're going through this but you aren't alone. I'm 24 and in the military, there is a lot of the same mentality.
~Jess
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): Maybe they hear that you give good pics, so they flirt and text till they get the pics and then they go to their friends see i got it aswell. As for you well it's fun flirting :)
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (2 June 2009):
 I hope that RCN wasn't right about your pics - and that you aren't sexting. That's always a big boo-boo, because once those pictures are out there - you can't get them back.
Anyways, Hun, guys are guys, and they are the men and the hunters. They like to be the ones who chase. There's an old saying "I let him chase me until I caught him!". It might seem ridiculously old fashioned, but while guys might like the occasional signal or flirtation, they do generally like to be the pursuers.
Besides, you already TOLD us that you know what the problem is! Your behavior! You have done this 3 times, know it's NOT working for you, and yet you still persist in repeating the same behavior. Mistakes are the way that we learn, but only if you correct them when you realize that you are doing the wrong thing.
As far as people calling you names, 'why' isn't completely clear. BUT, If you are sexting, and sending naked pictures of yourself, you have to expect that people are going to call you names. ON THE OTHER HAND, If you are simply sending a picture of yourself clothed, they are really being mean, because they find your behavior too aggressive. Whore isn't a very pleasant thing to be called, so they are being too aggressive in return. Kids can be very mean at your age.
If I were you, I would try to learn from my past. Stop calling and texting and let the NEXT guy that you like chase YOU for a change. Only send a text or photo AFTER he has sent a text or photo. Guys like a little mystery and don't really want a girl who is easy to win. Try playing a little hard to get. Be standoffish, coy and shy. The next guy won't get away so easily and I'm sure that at some point in the not to distant future, you WILL have a boyfriend. XXX
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A
female
reader, waciehawks  +, writes (2 June 2009):
I'm 19 and I remember a friend being like this when I was your age.
This is part of puberty. You're experimenting with your sexuality. If the people calling you a 'whore' are your age, then put it down to immaturity and/or jealousy.
As long as you're not hurting anyone's feelings and you're not playing these guys, flirting is harmless fun. These guys might be put off at how forward you are, try and restrain yourself a little.
I hope this helps
p.s - I hope they weren't provocative pictures, because then the story would be different....Sending rude pictures to immature boys will add to the rumours about you. Stay safe, you're still young and have plenty of time for guys.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (2 June 2009):
 First of all, let's clear up a little confusion with your post. These pictures you send them are with cloths on, correct?
I'm sure you know, there are many sites out there where guys and girls contact each other on the internet, they flirt, and often have no intention of dating each other. This may be the view they have. Also STOP SENDING PICS. Why should you add to their collection? Some of these guys have no intention on dating the girls, but they're building a large photo library of the girls they meet. This will weed out who's may be interested in dating and who's looking at increasing their photo lineup.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): You're the only person that can help you.
YOU are in control of you're behavour just dont swap number with these guys...its as easy as that
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A
male
reader, rocknroll +, writes (2 June 2009):
First, the age. IF the boys you associate with are near or at your age, then it is normal immaturity.
The problem with flirting, is that after a while, boys/men become confused as to where they stand with you. If you flit in front of them with other guys, then the label of whore will be attached. This has been my perception and experience, if at my own ripe age.
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