A
female
age
30-35,
*sb5000
writes:I am a newlywed. My husband had left his personal email account open last night, and i read a recent email from an ex girlfriend og his from years ago who he never slept with. He said in the email that he had really wanted to sleep with her, followed by a smiley wink. The email also talked about the fact that he was getting married and the fact that she had recently divorced. I know he hasn't cheated on me (yet!) but I feel slightly betrayed. I think it wasn't entirely appropriate for him to say this to her. Should I confont him about the email? Or should i just put it down to flirting?
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cheated on me, divorce, ex girlfriend, flirt, his ex Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Annalisa +, writes (8 September 2008):
 Hi, I'm glad I could help, but most of all that you've sorted it out!
The way we deal with little episodes like this is how relationships grow stronger or fall apart, so keep that frame of mind and your relationship will grow stronger than you could immagine.
God bless you and good luck!
A
female
reader, ssb5000 +, writes (7 September 2008):
ssb5000 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone, in particular Annalisa - your approach was just right, he realised he was completely inappropriate and feels terrible about it. He put it down to banter, but promised it wont happend again. I can only but give him the benefit of the doubt!
thanks again
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (2 September 2008):
 Excellent advice from Annalisa! I'd follow it to the letter if I were you.
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A
female
reader, Annalisa +, writes (2 September 2008):
Someone we once loved can hold a special place in our heart forever, but it can remain friendship, if we move onto a happy relationship.
His flirting is probably nothing more than friendly reassurance offered to a woman with a broken heart, so don't worry.
But marriage is about trust, honesty and being able to discuss little niggling thoughts like this, so why not mention you saw the e-mail when you went to turn off the computer? Mention it calmly and ask him whether it's anything you should worry about.
Be calm, secure and loving, but don't be afraid to make him aware that you're less than impressed about his chit-chat with his ex.
God bless you and good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): Yes confront him and ask him if its o.k for you to contact you ex's and flirt with them. He has a nerve to treat his wife like this.GOOD LUCK
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A
female
reader, lulababe +, writes (2 September 2008):
you should confront your husband about this,you have only just got married and he is making suggestions to another woman about sleeping together.where is the trust ??talk to your husband find out his reasons,and if he loves you he will tell this woman the truth and stop contacting her.xxx
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A
female
reader, JennayyyCx3 +, writes (2 September 2008):
 What the heckk!??!? Nooooo thats so bad. You CANNOT say those types of things when you are inlove with someone and just got married to them.like seriously your heart and soul forbids it. You need to confront him like its your job. I would be SOOOO pissed. like im getting mad just thinking about it lol. No thats not flirting!!! thats so far beyond scumbaggish behavior. Cause if you confront him now then he will be like ohh crap and stop that at once..hopefully? But if you let it go on you never know what that girl may be saying to him..so do what you gotta do!
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (2 September 2008):
 Leave it and keep your eyes open. What would be the benefit in confronting him other than petty points scoring and souring your relationship?
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