A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We were in love for the past 10 years,we are from different religions and now my girlfriends parents are forcing her to get married to someone, she really cant go against her parents wish and wants us to call off our relationship.Its been 10 years and we surprisingly never fought we had similar interests and character wise totally different i was the quintessential introvert and she the quintessential extrovert,we were perfect for each other.I dont know what to do im lost and broken
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female
reader, michelle101 +, writes (22 May 2011):
just dont understand 1 thing..."what does it mean by her parents are getting her married?" r dey goin 2 tie her and make her sit for the wedding just because they THINK their daughter will be happy only because shes going 2 marry the guy of the same religion? i dont think so...u r ech others future if u both marry sum1 else it'l spoil ur whole life and for how long ur mom n dad wil come 2 help u?? if they are not agreeing just BE FIRM AND ELOPE. ALL THE BEST
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (26 June 2009):
 i understand you must be feeling lost & broken.
however you knew when u first met this girl that your parents wouldnt agree on your marriage and more than likely the girl couldnt leave her family for you, so you must have expected this to happen at some point.
Unfortunately with love there are risks and in this case you have no option but to move on with your life, altho it will take time before you get over this love.
just pray she gets a good husband who loves her as much as you do, cut contacts with her so you can both move on.
unless she leaves her family and comes to you i cannot see any future for you both in india.
Goodluck
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A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (26 June 2009):
 To marry someone from a different religion and possibly a different ethnic group should not be too hard....unless you live in India. You know she has little choice as the alternative will mean being ostracised by both families and india is too hard a place to survive without family. If you were sure of her love and the prospect of marriage you would have asked her a long time ago, I suspect that in your heart you too knew it wouldn't work.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): This is such a sad story. Because I am not religious it is hard for me to understand how such a thing can get in the way of true love and happiness - and 10 years is not some casual affair. Your girlfriend is being dutiful to her parents but the only thing I can suggest is that you have one last go at talking to her. Ask her to set aside a few hours for you, in honour of what you have had together, and talk every single possibility out. By doing this you will know that you did everything you could should her response still negative. Make it an open discussion. Blind loyalty, such as that which your girlfriend is displaying to her family and their beliefs, is very difficult to overcome. Ultimately it is her choice. Before you speak with her ensure you are clear in what you want her to understand about your feelings and the options as you also see them so that no stone is unturned. Can you get some support in the meantime from an independent group? A friend? Please post to this site again and let us know how you get on. Good luck and I hope she sees a future with a man who loves her - you.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (26 June 2009):
 Gina is right. This is such a difficult situation for you both, but for your girlfriend I'm afraid the choice is either to do what her parents say and lose you (and have possibly a very horrible life with a husband she didn't want), or to leave and make a new life with you somewhere else.
I think you should talk to her about this. It is very hard for her: she would have to lose her parents. To have to make a choice between you and her parents is very difficult. Also, it may be physically dangerous for her if she doesn't obey? In which case being with you would be risking her life.
I'm so sorry. In these situations there is little to do apart from either suffering it, or escaping from it.
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A
female
reader, josephy  +, writes (26 June 2009):
 I'm sorry to hear that, why haven't u go to her parents before why you let the the time passed by and reach the point when I can't say but its too late. try to do something about this people can change their mind have a talk with the parents don't let her do it together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): I've got to say 10 years is quite a long time...If I was in this situation I wouldn't trade that away for anything else, can she really not go against her parents wish? Parents can't force their daughters/sons into a marriage that they don't want to be in.....I was sort of in the same situation 2yrs ago, I was silly to believe that my ex was forced into marriage, these situations were probably true back in history but not in this age. If your hearts are true, you would both do what it takes to be together...I honestly don't believe when people say they are forced into a marriage they don't want to be in, unless they were being threatened or I don't mean to say anything bad but also unless the parents were dying and wished to see her marry that person, but how likely is that..
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