A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for about 8/9 months now. He is 29 and I'm 31. He is into sex a lot and has a really high sex drive. He needs to have sex everyday plus masturbate once a day on top of that. I am not always up for sex everyday, sometimes I'm just quite tired. He has admitted to using prostitutes in the past. Last week end we went to Copenhagen for the week end and he smoked some weed while we were there. After that he started acted really strange and at one point we were in a bar and he thought they had prostitutes in the bar for some reason and was lingering around the entrance where he thought they were just to prove the point to himself that there were prostitutes in the bar. He had no good reason he could give for why he was pursuing this. Then last night he went out with a few of his friends and they were drinking and smoking weed. He ended up getting home at about 4 in the morning because he went to linger around Leicester Square. Again he had no good reason for doing this because worst case scenario would have been an encounter with a prostitute. He hasn't actually cheated on me and would say if he did because he is always honest about everything. I'm concerned about his recent behaviour and if the eventual end result of all of this is going to be him cheating. We have a really good relationship outside of these issues and for the first time in my life feel really happy in a relationship. I am now just having so many doubts about his ability to stay faithful and don't know what to do about the situation.
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cheated on me, prostitute, sex drive Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 February 2017):
 He doesn't sound like the most mature man ever. He still is in the phase off going out partying and smoking drugs. This leads him to actively looking out for prostitutes. Maybe he is just curious, but doing it in front off you shows he is not thinking about how this would make you feel. He sounds like a party boy who is looking for a laugh and fun. It does not mean he will cheat. But if he was my boyfriend his behavior would make me uneasy as well.
A
female
reader, hunyul  +, writes (30 January 2017):
There is no evidence that he has cheated on you. Yet actively searching for escorts in front of you is just disrespectful behaviour. How can you put up with that? I would be incredibly offended and angry.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2017): Having to be the parole officer of a cheater or potential cheater day in and out will destroy your soul. It will wear you out and beat you down.
If you have these worries, then it is your gut telling something very important. That is you cannot trust him. Nor will you ever be able to trust him.
Cut your losses now.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (28 January 2017):
 I think the fact that he is still a "party BOY" that smokes weed, gets drunk with his mates means he isn't perhaps the most reliable partner - does it mean he will cheat? Not really.
But IF he actively SEARCHES for prostitutes in a bar when out with you, THAT is a red flag. WTF!?
Are these "issues" thing you can live with or not? Are you OK with him potentially bringing home an STD from a sexual encounter (prostitute or One night stand)? Are you OK with always wondering WHEN he will cheat? Because it seems like sex is more important to him than being faithful.
You decide.
And you can REALLY like and guy and not be a good match AT ALL.
Personally? This is no a guy I'd call a Keeper. Do you really see a future here? Having kids with him? Settling down? While he is out "lingering" in places looking for prostitutes?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2017): I had this same feeling about my husband before we got married. He is really into sex and experiencing new things and not living life by the rulebook. I said it to him about how i felt ... we discussed it and now we are in an open relationship (sex only). Hes much more open and honest. I get to do it too and it relieves my parnoia because he has no reason to lie
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (28 January 2017):
 Relationships are all about compromise and respect. If your sex drives are different, and he is not willing to compromise or show you enough respect not to cheat on you because he "needs" more sex, then you are on a hiding to nothing, regardless of how well you get on outside the bedroom.
I would be very uncomfortable with his apparent fixation with prostitutes. Until you are 100% sure of his fidelity (are any of us ever?), I hope you are using a barrier contraceptive to ensure you don't end up with any STIs.
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