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male
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*hredordie
writes: So I dated this girl long distance for two months, went and visited her a few times, fooled around a little bit. It was her who expressed interest in me initially and then I took the step of asking her out. Anyways, before she comes home from school for the summer she dumps me. I went a little off the handle and texted, called, emailed, probably too much, but I stayed mostly positive and funny, all too no avail.Last week I emailed her and said that I understood where she was coming from, I'd like to try out the friends thing, let's give it a couple weeks and see how we feel and then maybe we can do lunch. I want to text/call her so bad and it hasn't even been a full week! I feel like if I contact her now, it's in complete violation of what I said in my email. Also, since I haven't acted like a complete ass is it possible that she would grab lunch with me? I think she may be seeing another guy that actually goes to school with her ... but I could be wrong about that. Also, if in a couple weeks I called her, said let's get lunch, also mention that I have a date (possible lie, not sure if I would or not) would that make her jealous? I'm having a hard time getting over this girl...
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (22 June 2008):
 I think you should not play games with this girl. You really should not contact her until you feel like you can be friends. When you are feeling good about her and about yourself, give her a call, be casual and go out for lunch.
Anytime an ex threw a girl in my face I would only see it as them being insecure and trying to make me jealous. But what it did was made them seem more pathetic. Do not mention another girl even if you are seeing one. And for sure, bringing along a girl is a bad idea. This "friend lunch" is the starting of your newly found friendship and if all you are going to do is try and make her jealous, then really what kind of friendship is that? She will never want to see you again and there is NO chance of ever getting back together.
For sure, be positive about what is going on in your life. Make sure you are keeping busy and you have lots to bring her up to speed on. Be happy and friendly and enthusiastic towards her. Don't say anything about getting back together even if you want to. If she brings it up (and you still want to) tell her that you'd like to see her again, yes, but that you'd like to take things slow.
Go on about your life so when you do see her, what you say will be the truth. take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): I say bring a good mate along tell her that the girl you brought with you is the girl you're seeing. I know for a fact it will make her jealous, especially if she doesn't have ayone with her. She will think that she was just another fish in the sea and she will be majorly jealous. Trust me. Us girls are green with envy. I reccomend you stop contact until the day you meet because she will wonder why you aren't calling/texting/e-mailing her because she thought she had you on her reel. Don't act too longing towards her, we aren't into that sort of thing, we like a bit of hard to get. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, witch-fire  +, writes (22 June 2008):
 Ok, don't take this wrong way, but if you were over messaging her she probably blocked your email address long before you sent the apology. Also, she may be under the impression that men who have expressed a romantic interest in her never want to be 'just friends'
Don't message her anymore. If she does message you back respond to that. you've made the first move, leave it at that and try to move on.
hope this helps xx
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