A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:There was a period of five years in my present relationship, of 20 years, where sex stopped. For me, it was part of a larger package of the menopause, our teenage daughter's behaviour and my partner's semi-loss of potency. In October last year I became aware that he had starting using sex text telephone sites. In November I realised that the best thing to do was to re-start our sex life. For about four glorious weeks we were truly in love again. We booked a New Year's eve break in Paris but when we arrived I noticed that I was secondary to the 'fantasy' that he has of expensive meals in expensive hotels. Soon after, I looked at his phone messages. One immediately sounded alarm bells - it was an art student who he seemed to be very familiar with. Two weeks ago he spent one night in Milan and she went with him. I've tried to confront him with the above without, of course, telling him that my 'sources' are his phone and credit card receipts. He behaves 'normally' as if I could possibly never know what he gets up to. They text each other five or six times a day and he takes her for expensive meals. For me, the problem is what do I do now? I do not want to leave my teenage daughter behind and there's also the little problem of finding somewhere else to live (which I believe he is using as leverage against me to continue his activities). We are still having (safe) sex approximately twice a week but I'm finding it difficult to continue living in this atmosphere of deception. Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2015): Leave him. If you can't leave the house you can certainly have your own affair and fun. If you want to maintain one household for your teenage daughter, you can live as housemates and nothing more-- but I wonder if that would be worth it. It sounds like he has no respect for you at all, not even bothering to respond to your questions about a night in Milan?! totally unacceptable.
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (12 February 2015):
This is a dreadful sad situation for you to live in and you will get stressed in time.But you have 3 choices [1]You can sit down with him and have an idept chat about the whole situation.[2]Ask him perhaps to go to a counsellor with you and get help that way [3] Make arrangements to leave him.I do understand about your daughter.-but with this situation there is no easy answer.Only the best for all concerned .Kind wishes NORA B.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2015): You tell him you've checked over your finances and you think someone has cloned your cards as there are expensive meals etc that you've not been to, don't even mention you know about his affair, pretend you think it's identity theft.
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