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I'm feeling used and manipulated!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 March 2018) 5 Answers - (Newest, 13 March 2018)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I want to ask how important is the to share social media with your bf or current partner? I ask this because my bf doesn't share social media with me (he blocked me from fbk etc) Before I didnt see this as an issue.. But now it really bothers me because I am always there for him when he needs help or something I do what I can for him and this actions of him are making me feel used and manipulated. Off course i asked him why he does that he says is nothing important he is here with me... I just cant undestand. ( he is from a different country as me but we both live in the US). It is normal how i am feeling?) thanks.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (13 March 2018):

Ciar agony auntLike Honeypie said...

I'd add that another possibility is you've made a pest of yourself in the past with clingy, insecure, behaviour and he's had enough.

I'm sure there is more going on than what you described, such as his side of the story, but feeling used and manipulated because you're not included in his spocial media world seemd a bit...over the top.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 March 2018):

Honeypie agony auntI don't share social media with my husband (he has one and is VERY active on it, I don't have one as I don't give a single F about "social" media) BUT.... he doesn't hide it, he quite often shows me what's up with family and friends on his FB.

I think for a partner to BLOCK you there has to be a reason.

Either he is hiding YOU from his friends and family OR he is hiding something from you.

You have to decide if you OTHERWISE have a relationship that you see a future with or not. And if YOU are the one always there for him and helping him... and there is absolutely no reciprocity then you are being "used" or letting yourself be used. If you are helping financially... a lot then I think you need to stop.

While I am ALL for helping a partner as best as you can, ONE person should be the one to pull the majority of the load one way or another.

You sound like 1. you don't trust him and 2. you are looking for reasons to end it...

So if it's 1 or 2 (or both) then why not end it?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2018):

It may not be the case that he's hiding something from you. Is it possible that he may be hiding you from his family/friends back home?

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia + , writes (13 March 2018):

Aunty BimBim agony auntListen to your gut feelings, they are telling you that you are being used and manipulated.

If you are always there for him, doing what you can to make his life better but feel that you are not getting the same care and attention back then you probably ARE being used and manipulated.

So now you need to decide what, if anything, you are going to do about it.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (13 March 2018):

No one can use or manipulate you unless you allow them to.

What would he have to hide from his own girlfriend? If he is your boyfriend; why would he need to block you? Do you think he's untrustworthy?

He doesn't seem to want you to know what he does on social media. That's weird! You've left-out some details. Like what caused him to do it?

Boyfriends don't block their own girlfriends from social media; unless they're flirting or seeing other women. Or if his girlfriend has been acting like a nutcase out of jealousy!

Okay, lets look at this from both-sides.

If you've been acting jealous and screening every move he makes; then he's tired of your insecurities and suspicious behavior.

If you haven't done anything to provoke such an action. Then why remain his girlfriend?

It's normal to be upset with a guy who blocks his own girlfriend from social media. It's not smart to continue being his girlfriend, if a guy blocks you like a nuisance or a troll.

What's the point of remaining his girlfriend if neither of you trust each other?

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