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Some of my boyfriends comments hurt.

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 March 2018) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 March 2018)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:


how can i stop being so sensitive to some of my boyfriends comments? Just yesterday he had to travel a few hours to fix something for work on his day off. He was already down about it so when he asked me to come with him i jumped at the idea thinking we could make a day of it together, get lunch etc. I could tell the whole morning he was down so i tried to cheer him up chatting on the way laughing with him. Until he made a comment about how the boys are doing (activity) today and how he is missing out to be stuck doing this.

His comment really hurt my feelings. I was looking forward to spending the day with him as he is often doing his hobbies on weekends and its then i realised how much he was hating the day. when he finished with his work thing that took an hour and asked what i wanted to do i just said go home as i was hurt. I told him why and he said "well im sure you would rather be doing something else" and i said "i just enjoy spending time with you" then went on to say "i spend all week with you (after work) of course i look forward to doing x activity"

Just to clarify, i am fully supportive of his hobbies and never ask him to not do whatever he wants to do in his spare time. I just want him to be happy with what time we do spend together.

Other similar things seem to keep happening lately! Our relationship is only 8 months old and we are both late 20's.

Am i being overly sensitive? Or should i just let these comments slide to avoid making things worse like they seem to get when i say something. We smoothed things over but I feel so miserable today now.


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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (13 March 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntInstead of cheering him up you made it about yourself and your feelings. I would be pretty annoyed if I had to do something with work on my day off. He obviously had plans with his friends and this disturbed them. I really am not sure how you made this about yourself and being hurt! He had plans which he had to cancel because of work, you went with him to keep him company but he was still working, he still missed his day off. Am sure he was thankful you kept him company but he also probably thought you would want to do something else for the day instead of a car ride.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (13 March 2018):

He was bummed-out about being called into work on his day-off. It's an intrusion on your personal-time and nothing really seems right thereafter. It's not you, it's about work.

So he didn't come-up with the particular words "Oh, I would rather spend time with you!" So now you add to his bummed-out day by pouting. So you both bummed each other out.

Let it go. Just write it off as a pisser. No big-deal!

If you're in a new relationship; don't sabotage it with over-sensitivity and blowing things out of proportion. It was more about being disturbed by his job. While everybody else was enjoying their weekend. You already knew his mood was shot.

Sometimes you can't cheer people up. Such is life!

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