A
male
age
30-35,
*geek
writes:(this is goanna be pieced together kinda oddly, i have allot of scattered thoughts and emotions atm)hey me and my girl have been dating now for 9 months, we love each other dearly, there is no sex in our relationship since she refuses to till she is 18, (I'm 19 and she's 17) I have no problem with that, i respect her decision.But to the problem at hand, in public she is anything but affectionate, it really irks me. In private she's all over me. But in public I have a hard time gettin a hug out of her. I was kind of fine with that, i got used to it and figure to deal with it, but as of late its really beginning to frustrate me, since I am moving this sunday for Job Corps (its a government run college/trade education) about 4 hours from where i am. She is still in high school, and am going to be there from 12 to 18 months. and I get up early to get over there to see her in the mornins now, but it really bugs me that all i get from her is a little one armed hug ? Yet she has no problem ditchin me to go chat or walk round with her girl friends, who she get to see 5 days a week all day at school. (we rarely get to see each other because her dad is hardcore about me being over 18, just as an example he refuses to let me take her to dinner on prom night) And when i have to leave after her first period class, she generally dosnt even regard me, just mumbles ok and usually dosnt even pause on her art or even glance sideways at me, nevermind givin me a kiss or whatever and if I go for one be4 i leave she jsut acts like im not doin anything dosnt even respond.I dont really understand my feeling of frustration but it might sound crappy of me but i feel as though I'm putting all this effort into our relationship and not getting anything back...
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female
reader, ROSA__LAVA +, writes (8 May 2009):
well i know that i as a gurrl. dnt really like PDA. but. . . . i do hugglike. not a 1 armm hugg but a real hugg. hugg. and i know that wen u stop likeing someone u give those huggs so maybe somethings on her mind. Maybe not though wen u want to kiss her tke her somewere were therez no 1 z there. thats wat my BF does. and i really appriate it. so try those things out and gotalk with herr
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): Everyone expresses his or her feelings differently. She's really young still, and probably just self-conscious about being affectionate around other people. Don't push her on it, just take time and gradually work on it.
Don't drive yourself crazy thinking it is a reflection of your relationship. I personally have PDA issues but it doesn't mean I don't love my boyfriend.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): I've been there, let me ask you, was she into PDA (Public Display of Affection) before? if she changed then she might not want people to know that you're together, which is one of the first steps toward a breakup. If she's always been like that, maybe she's a little shy and isn't into PDA. Me as a man wouldn't french kiss my girl like that in front of a bunch of people, but holding hands for a bit, (not all the time), and the occasional little kiss on the lips (no tongue) isn't gonna hurt her.
I'd be a little concerned about her preferring to hang out with her friends, that could mean she's trying to create distance from you, which is also a sign that she just doesn't feel comfortable with you. talk to her and ask what's up
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): You should feel frustrated. She's inconsistent and living two sets of behavior with you. You should be ticked.
As a girl, I know what's going on.
She does not want someone out there to know you two are together.
Plain and simple.
I'd bring it up to her and tell her this shit's changing, she's going to be consistent, or you're not around because you are no side dish.
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