A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunts, I've got a big dilemma!I've been seeing a guy that is not my type and I'm not really attracted to for the last 2 months. I was attracted to something about him initially when I first met him and wanted him to take me out. He did ask me on a date and then when I met him on that date all the attraction I first had was gone! I love his personality and he's such a good guy. We have a really good laugh together and we have been speaking all day everyday. From the start I was honest with him and told him he wasn't my usual type and said that I wasn't looking for a relationship, I can't see myself being with him but I didn't tell him that. Anyway he started really trying, he had quite a confused style and said he wanted my help to update his style and he joined the gym to get into shape. So I decided not to give up all hope as if he smartened up and shaped up maybe I would be more attracted to him. I have been in limbo with my feelings. I have fallen for him and his personality but I haven't got any sexual attraction there. On Friday night we ended up having sex. I wanted to as much as he did at the time. Once we started though I just could not get turned on with him no matter how much I tried. I just wasn't attracted to him like that. It then made it slightly worse that he had the strangest looking penis I have ever seen. I understand that everybody's anatomy is different and everybody comes in different shapes and sizes. However his penis was very small and skinny and then had a very overly large head on the top. He told me he had to have a drink before he could have sex when we were getting to know each other and I now think maybe that's why. It made sex quite difficult due to the large head and that added to me not being turned on. I don't know what to do now. I like him as a person but it's just not sexually. I don't want to lose him from my life and I feel gutted that the spark just wasn't there. I'm upset with myself and upset with the whole situation. I'm trying not to think about it. The first thing I wanted to do today was talk to him but I feel weird towards him after our sexual experience.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 February 2014):
 Oh this is so sad for both of you.
He probably feels way more for you than you do for him in terms of wanting a romantic relationship and you "friendzoning him" will hurt him deeply but you must be HONEST with him.
the issue is that you want to remain friends and he possibly will not be able to cope with this and you know this so you are afraid to tell him the truth because you are afraid to lose him as a friend because he will want more and will have to go NO CONTACT if you don't want him as a partner.
Sadly you must be honest with him. I agree with Honeypie.. do not tell him that his penis is weird even if it is. That serves no purpose but to hurt him.
You must tell him you want nothing more than to be friends... but you must be prepared for him to say he can't bear it and must go NO contact.
TO lead him on would be cruel.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 February 2014):
 I think you know what you SHOULD do. Break it off. Tell him he is a lovely guy but you just can't feel a spark.
Don't tell him his penis looks weird or that you couldn't get turned on by him though, I'd leave that out.
You took him for a test drive and just because his personality is GREAT doesn't mean the sex is going to be great. I know some people will say but he is a NICE guys, nice is good, but we all want GREAT, not settle for nice. Besides HE deserves a girl who is as much into him and he is into her.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 February 2014):
Agreed with the others. A nice personality isn't enough for a long lasting relationship. I think that you need to move on from him, as hard as it may be.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (16 February 2014):
 You do know what to do, it's just not always easy. A nice personality is great for friendship, but you need more than that for a relationship. Time to break it off before he gets too attached. And it's best not to try to be friends, because he clearly wants more.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 February 2014):
 Your's is that age-old question..... Why do dogs chase cars, when they don't know what to do with them (the cars) if/when they catch them?????
You need to be honest with YOURSELF, and look for a guy who turns you on in more, and better ways....
Good luck......
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