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I'm crazy about her but she keeps telling me she is scared

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 February 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 4 February 2010)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Okay, back in November I met this woman on a blind date through some friends. It was love at first sight for both of us. I knew from the moment that I first saw her she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Things went a little too fast though. There is a lot of emotion and feelings between us. It's really intense. After a couple weeks she told me that she loved me and she was my soul mate. About a month after that she said we needed a break and that things were too intense and too fast. So I accepted and didn' text or call a week later she called me. She said she wasn't sure if she was ready for a relationship right now but we will just see what happens. And we talked and hung out had some sex etc. Etc. She told her whole family about me and they love me(I've talked to her sister and brother on the phone mamy times) we get along really well. 

She has told me on many occasions that she took the break or broke up with me because she was scared. Well about two weeks ago I started feeling like I was getting the cold shoulder. She didn't return any phone calls and she would respond to my texts sometimes. I finally got her on the phone on Sunday and told her that some things were bothering me, I asked her what her intentions were, did she see herself and me in the future together or am I just going to be a fwb. She said she didn't see herself with me or anybody in the future she just wants to be single. She also said she didn't want me to be a fwb because of the feelings we have for each other. She just had her wisdom teeth pulled and told me the last two weeks have been really horrible for her. She said she didn't know how to tell me that she just wants to be single right now. I told her that I felt like I had lost a friend when she was giving me the cold shoulder and that her friendship means a lot to me. I also told her that I know she has a lot of stress going on her life with her wisdom teeth and just moving into her own place. I also told her that when she is ready for a relationship amd I'm still around we can try again and that by staying friends we can learn a lot about eachother. She said she is still really attracted to me. My good friend told me to not call her for a while, that I have not really given her a chance to miss me. So what should I do? I'm still crazy about her and I know she is about me, but she keeps telling me she is scared. She also said it's not you it's me, and i know that is kinda cliche. Sorry

View related questions: a break, broke up, soulmate, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010):

Thanks for the advice! I forgot to add that before I talked to her I voiceed my concerns to my friend whos girlfriend works with her. I told him some things she said and asked him if I should keep doing what I was doing and that if he heard anything from his girlfroend that would help me make a decision to let me know. He got back to me and said just be patient, his girlfriend would had said something if it was really bad and that she just really wants to be single right now. She loves being around

you and spending time with you she just isn't ready for the obligations

of a relationship right now. And I don't think she is worried about hurting

my feelings she knows I like stuff straight up black or white. So should I just give her time? Like the quote says if you love them let them go if they return they are yours forever and if not you never had em to begain with?

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A female reader, girl from bristol United Kingdom +, writes (3 February 2010):

well if she is not ready for a relationship then you have to just be friends and wait until she is ready give her time

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010):

look !! it's even she has some trust issues from previous relationships ( it's a part of the problem BUT it's not the main issue ) OR she doesn't want to hurt your feelings and simply tell you that she doesn't want to have a relationship with you ( and frankly I do believe in this one ),I mean SERIOUSLY this chick would actually have sex with you but yet she has the nerve to tell you and I quote " that things were too intense and too fast" HELLO you guys have already slept together after knowing each other for only a couple of weeks or something !! of course things are too fast!!! all i can say is .. give her,her space and that's it, don't push it. if she wants you she'll come 2u other than that forget about the whole thing and about her, though I'm sure u won't be able to move on until u find another crush..wish you the best of luck.

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