A
male
age
36-40,
*oom
writes:Hi,i'm 22 and my girlfriend is 21 well we are dating together already 5 months, i'm 2 year university but shes already 4 year and working. We really like and even love each other. Recently she wrote me several letters that she's completly in love with me. I really apreciate that. But as i discovered she has a better finance position then me. I made her lot of presents but not very expensive max 50 euros even baught sexy lingerie. But once she told me that she want's to pay our holliday and a notebook for my studies (she doens't know very well computers). I know that' great but it bothers me a lot, so i'm always nervous and stressed because of it.Hope you understand, in my opinion it's the guy who should buy expensive things to his gf. So i'm a little bit of ashamed of that. Should i tell her that i don't have such money to buy her expensive presents or afford a trip. Or that he presents shouldn't be so expensive? i'm really really confusedThank you for your answers
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): a relationship is often thought of as getting expensive presents to the person you love. in all reality jst becz the present is expensive doesnt make it any more meaningful then an affordable present. ima guy who doesnt have alot of money and my gf is fine with that bcz she isnt with me for how much i have or make. on several occasions she offers to pay n at first i wasnt comfortable with tat but she insisted n she feels ok with it so i let her and we take turns paying things. anyways if your really trying to be with her your focus shouldnt b on how expensive your presents arehope this helps
A
male
reader, doom +, writes (1 December 2009):
doom is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you dear ladies for your answers, i really apreciate for so many answers.And maybe you're right, i should do like you advise me
xxx
good luck too you all.
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A
female
reader, jafran  +, writes (30 November 2009):
I don't think she really cares. From what you say, I think she already knows you don't have much money. You probably don't have to tell her that. If she didn't know, why would she offer to pay for your things?
If it makes you uncomfortable for her to buy you things, tell her so. I'm sure she'll understand. Who would get mad at someone for telling them not to spend money on them anyway?
I just want you to know this. Girl advice from a girl: For three years I was dating a guy who bought me expensive jewelry and stuff, but he sucked. By the end of our relationship I hated him. He was emotionally abusive and all the expensive gifts didn't change that or make it ok. In fact, the gifts made me uncomfortable.
Now I date a guy who has NO money. I mean like he has 80 dollars to his name. He can't afford to buy me expensive gifts but that doesn't matter. I love him. We just got engaged. This is the guy I'm going to marry. I'm not marrying the guy who gave me expensive stuff and treated me badly. I'm marrying the guy who can't afford anything but treats me well.
If you have a girl of any quality (which it sounds like you do), she won't care that you can't buy her expensive things as long as you treat he well(which it sounds like you do).
Don't worry. If there is a problem in your relationship, it probably won't be your lack of funds. Just be a good boyfriend. It sounds like that's all she wants from you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): hey, i think she is being a good girlfriend by supporting you when you need it, monetary value doesnt matter so much to her, and as long as you show her in other ways which im sure you do Im sure she wont mind. If she wanted someone who could shower her with expensive gifts she would but she wants you because she loves you for what you have on the inside, and when you are working you will be able to buy her things but dont do things just to make u feel better, do things which will improve the relationship. You have a great gf, appreciate her and I hope you'll be happy together.
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A
female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich  +, writes (30 November 2009):
 What you feel right now is normal for a man. dont you worry so much. She might understand that youre still in university. theres no problem to sit and talk to her and tell her the truth about this matter. being honest in the relationship is always the best part. for now you can buy her a present what ever that you can afford to. women is easy to please. when our man give us a present most of the time it happen that we dont look at the amount of the present.most of the time we're looking at the time that he spend to think what ever he buy for a women. love is evrything, its understanding and she will understand you. in the end, someday when you have already a good income. then thats the time you can make it up to her. then she will be happy and you will feel better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): I think you should just tell her the truth. I'm sure she isn't concerned about expensive presents anyway. If you love someone, that is all that matters. I also think you should try and explain how you feel about this though, and how it bothers you. Perhaps it would be helpful if she didn't go overboard so much with her gifts. I'm sure she doesn't realise how it is making you feel, but if you tell her she may be a bit more sensitive and tactful with regards to her own money! Good luck! x
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A
female
reader, Sarah:) +, writes (30 November 2009):
 Just be honest and tell her you con't afford anything to big right now. If she loves you, she won't care.
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