A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, I have an odd problem. I am 31 and I look about 15 and I hate it. I am having real problems with this. I do not get taken seriously, I always get id wherever I go, even if to but a lottery ticket. I dress well and wear make up and had my hair cut to try and make me look older, but I am so small in height and my face looks so young. I know that everyone says it's a blessing. when your 40, your look 20. But It's a nightmare. when I tell people how old I am they usualy laugh and don't beleive me. When I look in the mirror, I see the face of a child staring back at me. My last relationship split up cause the guy said that he couldn't take all the mocking and peoole asuming that he was going out with a girl in school. It's horrible. when I take my 14 year old cousin out people asume we are friends. I am 31 year old woman and I want to look like one, not a child. Any advice?
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male
reader, Sketchiboo +, writes (9 June 2017):
Hi, I'm 31, two days ago. Yet I pass from 16 - 20. I have never had a gf older than 24, my current gf is 21 next month, so I guess it must be different for men.Women always want an older man, but I only look their age so it works, but I really feel for you because I can remember being unable to buy restricted items, although that helped/forced me to give up smoking. I hope it all works out for you but I lived in my area since school so I'm known from school so it track's....
A
female
reader, MariaVMP  +, writes (19 August 2011):
I so understand.. What's even more enraging is that people just don't seem to be able to sympathise and try to tone down their comments a little bit.. "What grade are you in, honey?" "No, got my bachelors" "But you look like a HIGH-SCHOOL STUDENT!" "thanks :S" "There's no way you could be over 15!" Okay, I get the point, you can stop insulting me now (jealous wrinkly old b****)! It's true that getting all bitter is not the answer, but it is just so hard not to (and I sincerely try!) when you're constantly being put down by strangers on the basis of your physical appeareance over which you have little to no control. I work at a day nursery, and the kids just won't take me seriously, I feel absolutely RIDICUlOUS having to argue with 12 year-olds trying to convince them I am old enough to be their supervisor!! They just don't get that I am an adult, little boys hit on me (stealing things from my purse as a way of flirting, splashing me at the swimming pool) girls give me dirty looks and attitude,and ask me whether I think Justin Bieber is hot. Getting respect out of adult men and being treated like a woman and a person is also difficult, since on most encounters, men are either condescending, patronizing, or plain creepy. Generally, every time I speak up in a group conversation with people who dont know my exact age,I am simply ignored or looked at with irritation, "Who's that kid and why is she yapping when the adults are trying to talk?!" sort of looks. No need to mention having to walk around with my id everywhere as if it's a police badge. I find that this is seriously affecting my self-esteem, how can I take myself seriously when noone else does? I find myself getting paranoid, avoiding social situations, assuming I'd need to prove to everyone that I am a more or less mature, rational being before I can establish any sort of contact.. Walking around telling everyone to please treat me with some respect because I am 21 and not 14 would probably make me feel even more like an idiot. Anyone got any good caustic comebacks to stupid comments, discreet ways to point out your age without resorting to rudeness or absurdity, etc.,? Would greatly appreciate, since I've pretty much given up all hope of making myself look my age. Sorry about the ramble, just speaking from the heart here) And also,sadly, it seems that the promises that "it will get better with age" are a load of bs, since I see many people here over the age of 35 complaining about their youthful appeareance,hence not being taken seriously. so I'm afraid this problem isn't going anywhere until you are officially old.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): I know your pain with a vengeance. I am 55 now, and the price of having looked very young all my life is really coming home.
The only thing I'm sure of is, taking the problem seriously in spite of other people's disbelief is important. I mean, I can't strategise around something I'm not sure exists. (I think strategising means accepting that you have to work harder than most people for what you want - information, friends, even bank accounts; having an effect on the world - and then figuring out how to do it.)
I tried wearing a grey wig once or twice, a few years ago - it made quite a large difference, even with people I knew! - I really enjoyed it; but the thing itched.
Good luck, everyone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009): I'm in the same boat...If people are interested in starting a chat room or group around this issue that would be great.
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A
female
reader, LOULOU1 +, writes (15 April 2008):
its a nightmare, i totally understand! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): I know exactly how u feel.i'v been thrown out of clubs even with my id in the prescence of my boyfriend(we'r not together now)and i cant count the no.of times he's been teased a cradle snatcher.but the worst time for me was when i cdnt get a job because i looked young& thus lacking credibility.but u know aunts right.we'l be the one's laughing in a few years when every one is struggling to look like us.dont lose hope.and try looking super-confident wherever u are,even when they ask for id.its working for me..stay sexy!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): My heart is thinking of you now because I have the same problem. I guess you could say that it do lower the seriousness you are expecting out of Everyone, but they dont know and all they go by is your looks and there prediction. i have the same problem except i am 20 yrs old about to be 21 this Aug in 08 and i am thinking about how will people take me and my mindset, because I feel disrespected when people say that i Look 15-16 when I am 20 years old. My heart really goes out to you I feel the same way also. But I can say that we do have some benefits of that baby face look... we can look way much younger than we really are and tha is truly a blessing to look 20-30 in you 50's. this is wanda and i know how you feel because I am going through that same thing wondering when am I going to look older as I get older. I am so..... serious. I would really like to talk to you in person if I had the chance. god bless and you have a good evening.
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A
female
reader, todiefor +, writes (6 January 2008):
 firstly its nice to know im not the only one with this problem, i am 24 and i look about 16. i get asked for id all the time and never taken seriously. i dont mind looking young so much, its just that i dont get the respect i should get as an adult.ive got to the point where i just dont buy alcohol anymore because i get fed up with the comments. i get my partner to buy it for me.
ive found that having shorter hair definately makes you look older, and obviously how you dress makes a real difference.
i just dont like it when people comment on it, which is a lot. i went to buy a car yesterday and they just looked at me gone out. really gets on my nerves.
people always say "its a compliment" or "youll look so young when your 40" but i think, what about now, am i supposed to wish away the best years of my life, hoping to be 40 sooner so that people can finally take me seriously??!!
although i think it is difficult to look older, perhaps you can take some comfort in the fact that there are plenty of people out there with the same problem.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): I know your pain. I am 25 years old a mother of two and a wife. I always get carded people always think that I am in high school they do not take me serious either. Girls in high school always give me dirty looks. I hate it sooo much I just want to get the respect that an adult should get. I was wondering if you would want to start a chat room just for people just like us. Ih yeah they think I am any where from 16 to 18 years old.
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (27 September 2007):
 The problem isn't that you look young. The problem is that you don't like to look young.
Everyone needs a cross to bear. For some people it's their skin, others its their hair, others their lack of confidence, for some men it might be the size of their "bits", for women their breasts, yadda yadda yadda. There are very few people totally happy with how they look or how they are.
First, accept the facts. There is very little you can do to look older.
Second, accept that of all the things you could be cursed with: Cancer, deformity, mental abnormalities, disability, "looking young" actually isn't that bad.
You need to hold your head up high and be proud of who you are. Are you confident? Do you treat others well? Are you a nice person to know? How you look is just one small part of YOU. Don't let it eat you up and feel blessed for what you have, not what you think is wrong.
(Did you really want to go out with such a disrespecful guy who dumped you because he was too wet to put up with some stupid comments? Many guys adore the "fresh-faced" look, me being one of them.)
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (27 September 2007):
 there are ways to do it im just not entirely sure what they are! lol. what i mean is i know that long hair makes people look younger so you should have it cut short but i dont know what style - ask your hairdresser. and make up can make you look older but you would need to see a really good beautician or makeup artist first. get them to do it for you and watch and ask how they do it. i have no idea of the number of times i have read about someone who has met a celebrity out in public "on a day off" and said "they looked so much younger in person!" its because they have hairdressers and make up artists to make them look older and more sophisticated for events. so it is possible to fake looking older but you need to get really good advice from people who really know what they are talking about.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (27 September 2007):
 Im sorry to say but i cant say anything to help you either.
It sounds like youve done alot to overcome your younger looks but it hasnt helped you at all.
Im the same, i look 11/12 when im 17. I get asked for ID when going into 12A movies, now thats embarassing when your with 18 year olds. To help at time i change my hair wear different clothes doesnt help me much i look the same gernerally.
All you can do is take it with a smile and know that when your older and your friend wanna look younger, you wont have to.
Sorry i couldnt help either.
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A
female
reader, needs2know  +, writes (27 September 2007):
 I understand that too. I tell people my age and they are always like no way!?!? I used to hate it but i got used to it and enjoyed being around other women who alike "ugh im gonna have to get this tighten and this fixed..." (so they can look younger) When you get really really old you will only look 40 and people will be even more amazed. Just try to enjoy it cause i mean you could do what 12 year olds do and put lots of make up on and end up looking like a clown.. haha and i dont think you want that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): I guess all you can do is grin and bear it. Not the answer you were looking for, I'm sure, but you are what you are. As long as you are otherwise happy in yourself that's all that should matter to you.
Any guy who goes out with you and breaks it up because of what other people think is rather shallow, don't you think?
If I were you I'd take it as a compliment, but I suppose you've already heard that!
The only half-sensible thing I could suggest is to let your hair grow again and have it styled at a salon at regular intervals. There probably aren't too many 15 year-olds with a sophisticated hairdo, so that might help.
I know a woman who's married to a friend of a friend who's been through the same thing. She looks about 20 and has 4 kids in tow. She just smiles and laughs off any 'jokes' and comes back with a few of her own. I'd have to ask her first, but I could probably put the two of you in touch with each other to compare notes if you think that might help.
Phil
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A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (27 September 2007):
 i'm 20 and look about 12. i get id'd absolutlely everywhere, i can't buy cigarettes for my nan without my driving licence for id and i try all i can to look older.
in a way it is right that when you're older you'll be the one laughing because you won't need cosmetic sergery to look young, and i sypathise with you but there isn't alot that can be done because you are given the looks god gave us and we have to deal with it.
think of it like this, would you not prefer people to think you are 12 rather than 40+? other than staying awake all nights and tiring yourself out (that'll put years on you) try and make the most out of a rubbish situation.
when someone asks you for your id, take it with a pinch of salt, they'll be all embarrassed when they see your real age. and it might be diffcult to get a man to see you for you whe nthey fear there'll be branded a craddle snatcher regardless of your age, but you'll find someone who doesn't care about what anyone thinks.
sorry i couldn't help further.
take care
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