A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a question about my boyfriend of 4 yrs. He is divorced (it was just in the final stages when I met him) and he is bitter about the fact that he had to split the proceeds from the sale of his house etc .. Anyhow, I have noticed that whenever we have an argument or heated discussion, he often accidentally calls me by her name. He says he does not love her (they were together for a very long time and she was his first proper girlfriend). He has never called her name in bed or anything but often in an argument. If he does not love her then why does he do this? She must be either on his mind, or in his subconscious and if so, why? This bothers me a lot. Any ideas?
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (12 February 2008):
 Hi,
I can relate to this question because it used to happen to me. I met my wife after an 8 year relationship with my ex. And yes, for the first year or 2 if we got in an argument ( which were very rare ) I would sometimes call her the other name.
She would get upset, but I found that the only reason I called her by that name was because the argument was similar to those in my previous relationship and I wasnt used to arguing with my new partner.
So I wouldnt worry about it, I certainly was not thinking of my previous partner or holding any torch for her, quite the opposite I was glad to be with my new girl.
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Maybe he calls you her name accidently or maybe something about you reminds him of her. Maybe they argued so much that when you and him start arguing he inadvertently calls you her.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Hi
Sooooooooo not unusual! Its basically because the last time he disagreed with someone he was close to, it was his ex! It is a bit of an insult really, you basically wind him up like she did! Ive been in that situation before though.
I definately wouldnt read more into it than that personally.
C xxxxx
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