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female
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anonymous
writes: Hello everyone. I need some advice on what I should do with a situation that just occured and has me extremely upset. I do not know if it is because I am angry, which is why I need someone to help me think straight.Yesterday was my birthday, and my friends usually will leave me messages on myspace or even a quick text message on my cell phone. A few friends did not even bother to establish it was my birthday even though they were on myspace that day. But those are not the ones that I am upset with at all. I like to consider her my best friend and I am supposed to be her bridesmaid for her wedding next year. I called for her fiances birthday the day before mine and they know that my birthday is always the day after his. They told me they were having a party that they decided to throw at the last minute and they live an hour away. I told them that I would get back to them. I was not sure what was happening that night if my parents were doing something of if family was coming over for my birthday. Well, my boyfriend got out of work late and we did not attend their party, which should be despite the point of why my best friend would not call me on my birthday! I feel so angry that I do not want to be a part of her wedding at all! If she doesnt care enough to take 5 seconds of her time to wish me a happy birthday, why should I waste the time and money to be in her wedding? Do you think that I have the right to be angry and not be in the wedding? Or do you feel like I am over reacting? Thanks so much for all your help! I really appreciate all the help I can get!
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best friend, fiance, money, myspace, text, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): Seriously, they probably wanted to say it at the party. Was the party for you, her fiancee or both of you? You didn't go because you went with your boyfriend instead, so I really don't see what the huge deal is. They tried making an effort to see you. You chose to be with him instead. My "best friend" didn't tell me happy b-day & I just did it back to her on her b-day.
A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (16 September 2007):
 First I want to say that you have all the right to be angry. That is what you feel and it is nothing wrong or at fault with being disappointed and upset when your best friend forget your birthday.
On the other hand, if she asked you to be her bridesmaid you must mean a lot to her. It is not something you would ask just anyone to be. I don’t think you should decide not to attend to the wedding. The reason you are angry now is because you are the best of friends and to turn her down to be her bridesmaid will be hurtful for you too.
Are you sure there can’t be a reason she didn’t congratulate you yesterday? Maybe she had expected you to turn up at that party yesterday and had plans to do something then? Then you didn’t turn up and other things came in the way. Maybe she will get back to you soon. If she completely forgot and you are such good friends, then I think you can say something. Call her and ask her if she would want to meet you soon for a coffee and a cake (or something else that you would like) since it was recently your birthday. It would be a nice way of hinting and give her an opportunity to make up to you.
Best wishes!
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