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If I’ve fallen for him and my parents don’t approve of me being with someone, what do I do?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Family, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 May 2018) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 May 2018)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I met my friend when we were both just 10 years old. We kept in contact for years but were never close.. we just always make sure to wish each other on birthdays and chat to catch up and see how we’re both doing. But just last year in September, we talked more and more and gotten closer. We’ve met up twice and he’s visited me at my school a couple of times.

The two meetings, my parents knew about.. the other short visits in my school, they don’t know about.. needlessly to say, I fell for this guy and he’s fallen for me too. I mean who knew between our conversations on social media and all these little meet ups and visits, we could fall for each other. And it’s not like some sort of “high-school” crushes thing, like we find that we have a lot to talk about and the conversation never ends. And it’s really something I like about someone where you just “click” you know what I mean? And between those convos obviously we learn a lot from each other as well and the fact we knew each other since we were 10, we talked about those days too..

Anyways, if I were to say that I have fallen for him and my parents don’t approve of being with someone... what should I do?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (21 May 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntYour parents need to let go off the apron strings a little. You need to remember that you are an adult now and you are fit to make your own decisions and you should also let your parents know that in a kind way as well. It can be difficult for parents to let go off their off spring but you need to remind them that you are an adult and in charge of your own life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2018):

Posted this.

He's not a bad boy. He's actually a really sweet boy who is very studious and mature. He's a has a straight As student. We're both in uni right now but different schools but in the same state. So he can easily come and visit as he drives.

I've known him long but my parents never knew that I knew him for that long. Only recently that we've become close they knew that. But for some reason my parents just don't want me to be with someone! They just say I'm too young and I should wait. I've NEVER been in trouble! Like ever! I've always listened to my parents and never do anything bad..

All my parents said was that Im "too young" and should focus on studies and I should wait until I'm working to date. But I kinda feel that's a bit late? they expect me to finish a Master Degree before starting my work life, so I think that feels a bit late? Hope you get where I'm coming from..

So to answer your final question... I'm not sure why my parents don't approve of me being with someone apart from the reason they gave me above... Never been in trouble at all.... so......

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (20 May 2018):

How do you know your parents will not approve of him? Is he a troubled-teen? Did he drop-out of high school or college?

Does he have a bad-boy reputation? Are your grades failing in school?

It doesn't make sense they would have a problem with a kid you've known as a friend for 10 years. It would seem they'd only think he's just your friend. He should be like a part of the family by now.

Okay, what's wrong with this guy? Has he been in some kind of legal trouble? If he's your age, how does he have time to visit you at school; when he's supposed to be at school himself?

You're leaving out a lot of details. We're intelligent and experienced people here. We know when a load of details have been left-out to make a case for yourself.

Alright...spill it! Why don't your parents approve of you being with someone? Have you been in a lot of trouble yourself?

Be honest and truthful. Don't make them out as some sort of monsters holding you hostage; or it will look unbelievable to everybody here.

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