A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:Okay guys here is my biggest challenge. My new bf does not want me to take photos of him or even with him. How can I convinc him or make a deal to be able to take maybe just 1? He said even his mom has almost no photos of him. The years books don't have photos of him and this is also the reason he has no Facebook. How do I go about this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2013): you have to be mindful of his wishes. it may not be the most normal thing to not want your picture taken but that's him and you have to respect him for it. dont pressure him. maybe one day he will let you you take that perfect fb selfie and when he does you know he cares about you enough to do something outside of his comfort zone
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 October 2013):
 You don't do anything to force him to comply with your wishes,
You must learn to respect his boundaries and wishes. If you can't let it go, maybe you need to let him go.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 October 2013):
 It IS a strange think that he refuses to let you, his gf, have a pic of his. And all strange things generally have a specific reason- maybe an innocent one, of course, he does not need to be on the lam from the FBI; but a reason. Aren't you curious to find out this reason ? Did you ask him a real explanation ? ( " Because I don't like it " , instantly begets the question : And why is it that you don't like it ? ).
But, if you don't find that strange at all, and if you are not curious- in otehr words if you take his pic phobia as legitimate ,believable, and justified- then yours is a stange question. How do you MAKE a guy do something he does not want to do ?. ... You don't. You ask him nicely, as a favour, and if he says no, you respect his choice. It's like asking, how do I make him eat artichokes if he does not want to ?... You just don't. You respect him enough to not force your preferences on him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (24 October 2013):
 Hum, I find it a little odd, but why not just RESPECT his choice?
Not everyone wants to be on FB and live their lives though social media.
If you are worried that he might be married or whatnot, spend the $6 on a background check.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 October 2013):
 So when you were at his parents' house, did you talk about this with his mom?
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A
female
reader, Lovemeright11 +, writes (24 October 2013):
Lovemeright11 is verified as being by the original poster of the question We are actually a couple now he asked me to be serious with him. He is a really great guy. So many things we click on.
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A
female
reader, Lovemeright11 +, writes (24 October 2013):
Lovemeright11 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have been to his parents house and he is defiantly telling me the truth with everything he wants to be with me forever. He has a Facebook I found it, but he has no photos and the photos I do have of him are not very good. He told me he hates photos. He is worried about his career as I am with mine. We talk everyday and he treats me very well he is actually one of the sweetest guys I have ever met. It's true his photos show no where on line and his name is really his name I have seen his ID. I'm honestly just asking how I convince him to let me take a photo not have my past post flaunted in my current. I need advice on how to go about this. He has talked about so many deep things with me. This guy is for real. I saw him today he feels for me I know. He wouldn't talk to me if he didn't and we talk about so many things it's great to find someone.
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A
female
reader, cupid lover  +, writes (24 October 2013):
My ex wouldn't let me take photos of him or have a photo with him either. I didn't really mind though. The reason for him was that he thinks he is ugly.
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female
reader, jellybeans +, writes (23 October 2013):
well let me tell you a story from my college days: I once took a non-major class and none of my classmate in that class was connected with me in anyway. A guy in that class was very nice to me, always talked to me or wanted to help me with homework. Eventually, he added me on facebook. I noticed that his fb account was under a complete different name and he only had two friends, me and another girl in the same class. Long story short, he asked me out but I refused to go. After a couple of rejections, he became rude and insulted me with sexual jokes.I blocked him for my own safety. Fortunately, the class was over at that time and I never saw him again.A couple months later I heard from the other girl (who he added on fb using that fake account) that the guy was engaged to his long-distance girlfriend before we met. Of course the girl found out in a painful way. I wish I was able to warn her but I had no proof of what I thought he was doing, it was just my instinct. So the same with you. Do you have mutual friend with your bf? How well do you know him? Are you sure he doesn't have a fb or he is hiding that account from you so you won't find out that he is dating someone else or engaged?For your own safety, don't confront him but rather find out by yourself. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 October 2013):
You know what? The more I think about this question, the more I think you are being played. This guy isn't an MMA fighter and he's not telling the truth. He doesn't want you to have pictures of him out there posted by you because he doesn't want his wife/girlfriend/family to find out that he has convinced you to be his girlfriend.
I would doubt his veracity. In other words, I think he's a liar. Sorry.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 October 2013):
Is your guy the MMA wannabe fighter? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/does-he-care-about-me-hes-so-busy.html
Then he would want his images from now on to be cleared by him so nothing winds up on the internet and ruins his carefully crafted image. If he's snuggling a stuffed teddy bear then he's not the fierce warrior dude and could be set up for mocking.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 October 2013):
Is he Amish or Mennonite? Taking pictures isn't a good thing, for them.
When we were building our house, I noticed some of the workers totally freaked out if I happened to pull out a camera near them. Turns out that they were ex-cons and I think some of them may have actually had warrants out for their arrests at the time. The contractors had to deal with that, I didn't hire them, the builder did.
So what reason does your guy give for being so extremely camera shy?
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