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I wasn't who he thought I was... haven't heard from him in 5 days, help!

Tagged as: Friends, Online dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 December 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 10 December 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey... so I did a very bad thing.. I lied to this guy over the internet about my appearance (not by choice) I just got caught up in something that I never should have been. soo.. yea it was this one dating site called Tagged.. anywayz at first I just liked this guy.. but then love smacked me like a b** in the face =[ nd he fell for me too... well the girl I was pretending to be... We "dated" for about six months.. and if you ever been in love you know what i'm talking about.. you know that tugging feeling? that you can't do without him/her? and all that nice stuff that people think exists only fairy tales...

I felt it =/ anyways. he's in the military. he got deployed just this past Monday. I told him the truth about me two weeks ago. He still however decided to be friends... Instead of shunning me completly. For that I was very greatful.. However last Wed. we had this "conversation" over the phone and everything seemed like they used to.... two days later.. while he was getting ready to leave for Iraq he promised he'd contact me before he left... he didn't. Then he apparently left without saying goodbye.. it's been 5 days now and all I can do is think about him and listen to love songs nd cry bucket of tears. I know I'm guilty but... Right now I'm just lost.. will I ever get him back? is there any chance?

View related questions: military, the internet

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010):

Did you lie about your age to him too?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010):

You're making absolutely no sense OP. Had to, lied, bullied, consequences for your family. I really just don't know what you're talking about. None of what you say makes any sense.

"I just got caught up in something that I never should have been" Really I can't for the life of me figure out what that is, how do you get caught up in something in which you are FORCED into putting fake pictures on a dating site and having to lie to an army guy for 6 months? How does that happen?

I mean you're 16 what the hell is that crazy and important. if you were being bullied then frankly there are lots of ways of dealing with bullies and I really don't see how all of this stuff you did would even fix being bullied.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010):

this is to those who couldn't understand what i meant by not by choice.. i don't think i need to explain what i meant but lets just say I didn't want to lie to him I didn't even wnt to have this Tagged thing.. I HAD to do it and if i didn't there were going to b consequences that not only would affect me but also my fam.. (ever heard of bullying?)anywayz.. that part is not really important because he understands why i lied to him.. and he constantly told me that it was ok.. I even wanted him to hate me cuz atm i hated myself.. he said it wasn't really my fault and that I'm forgiven but still... Believe me... I never wanted to lie. The day I told him the truth was actually the day I stopped caring about the consequences.. thats the only reason why I told him.. I couldn't stand lying to him.. I couldn't stand being under the pressure to lie to him either. I just had enuff.. I'm not the type of girl who lies and stuff.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (10 December 2010):

dirtball agony auntNope, he's gone. Karma's a bitch. Hope for his safe return from duty. Learn from this mistake and make sure not to repeat it.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (10 December 2010):

You lied to him, and this is the price of that lie. And yes it was your choice to lie. In the future, never lie about who you are. People just don't like it.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (10 December 2010):

mystiquek agony auntHow can you lie about your appearance "not by choice"?? I don't understand that at all. To be honest with you, he might have gotten freaked out about your age, thought it over and decided it was best not to stay in touch. You have to admit, its not too cool to pretend to be someone that you're not, right? How would you feel if he had done that to you? Not too good. Or he could actually be very busy! I would think he might have had a minute to call you or say goodbye, but who knows? As much as you are hurting, you really may have to let this guy go. I think you know now not to be someone that you're not. It's only a matter of time before the guy will find out. Sorry, but most people don't take well to being deceived.

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