A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been happily single for three years now and although missing the physical intimacy and all else that goes with having a close partner, have been busy with family and friends and not really been actively looking for a relationship. I recently met a man through my work and at first found him a good natured colleague and enjoyed his company. I dom’t even know why, but I thought he had a wife and our relationship has always been respectful and light hearted. I recently found out he was single from him and he and I have been gradually spending more time together. The other day, I realised I was actually really attracted to him, and he is very flirtatious in a fun, non threading way. I don’t know what’s happened, but instead of feeling happy and looking forward to enjoying his company I now just dread seeing him and am even considering looking for another job rather than have to see him daily It feels pathetic out of proportion and not the way I want to be feeling all and cannot understand why I feel this way. Be interested in any help or advice !
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (2 March 2018):
 Honestly?
Keep it to a polite and professional level with this guy. The banter is fine, the having a laugh is fine but DO NOT try and turn this into a relationship.
You don't seem ready for one or even willing to have one at the moment AND THAT IS OK! So reel it in a bit, keep it to fun banter between coworker.. WHY would it have to progress? It doesn't!
And like WiseOwlE mentions... work romance is RARELY a good or smart idea. At any age.
It might really be something as simple as your intuition telling you to not take this further, for whatever reason, so LISTEN to that.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 March 2018):
 Are you afraid of rejection? Are you scared to let your guard down and for him not to feel the same? That would be my guess. Maybe you are scared to get back out there again, and that is okay. It can be really scary to get back on track with dating. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2018): It's such an over-worked topic about people romantically involved with their colleagues or co-workers.
We have such a climate these days of inappropriate sexual-behavior. Women accusing men of sexual-misconduct. Messing around with people you work with leaves so much room for issues that could only jeopardize your job and it's an assault on professionalism. It also increases your company's liability for sexual-harassment suits; or complaints filed, requiring investigation against claims of misconduct. In such cases, someone or both have to go!
Do your really have to date guys you work with?
If you feel uneasy now, how will you feel if things go wrong?
Keep it just as it is. If you feel lonely, maybe it is time to sign-up with a reputable dating-site, get out socially and be visible, and keep your personal-life separate from your professional-life. it's okay to have a great professional-connection with a work-friend. Romances at work are usually a hot mess just waiting to happen.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2018): You're afraid of being close again or of being hurt. You know dating at work isn't a good idea. You may be comfortable with your life and enjoy a harmless flirtation but anything more scares you. Or you have a gut feeling about him. Either he's lying about being single or he isn't the right guy for you.
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