A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm married and I don't want to be. I tried getting divorced but both our families as well as my other half made my life hell, so I gave up. I've never believed in cheating. Never understood why anyone would do it. I've found myself in the same place I have always looked down on. I met someone. We had talked on-line for almost 10 years and finally met in person. He was so shy and sweet. He's turned out to be the greatest man I've ever known. Needless to say, mostly to my doing, we started messing with one another. We have so many of the same likes and fantasies. It was all supposed to be fun, yet I found myself falling for him. I've never found myself wanting something so bad. He's been careful about feeling anything for me because he told me he knew he would only get hurt. I am so lost. I don't know what to do. Now he's telling me about this girl he likes, cause after all, we are friends, so why shouldn't he confide in me. The way my life is going, I feel as if I am dying inside. I want him, I want out of my marriage and I want our families and my husband to stop telling me what I do and do not feel, what I should and should not be doing and I want to stop being threatened and told I'm worthless. Any help would be appreciated because I am losing my mind. I feel like just disappearing.... Help me please...
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007): Oh hun, you are really torn aren't you? I was in the same predicament as you and after 12 years I had the strength to get up and walk. I cut contact with all my families and husband and went. After 3 months my family realised that no matter what they said I wasn't going to listen anymore.My fellawho I met the same way as you and I have been blissfully happy for the last year and he has made me realised how special I am and how I should be treated.You don't say whether children are involved here so I am assuming not.You have been brain washed and bullied for so long by all around you and until you make the break you will never feel the freedom and love I have. Do it!! And be happy. The divorce can wait but the love and respect you need cant.hope this has given you a little courage xx
A
female
reader, amers344  +, writes (20 June 2007):
Firstly you need to stop thinking of the man you like and think about yourself. Its your life and no matter what anyone says you should do what makes you happy.. YOU DONT WANT TO WASTE YOUR LIFE.. The man you like obviously loves you if he has been writing to you for over 10 years and then met up with you.. he probably is just scared to say anything as you are a married woman. Once you sort the main problem out (marraige) then you can worry about that.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (20 June 2007):
 If you are this unhappy, file for divorce. I don't know what kind of hell your families put you through, but it is your life. Tell your new man that you are filing for divorce and ask him if he will be there for you when it's over with. How serious is he about this other girl he has mentioned? Perhaps he only brought her up, as a means to push you into making a decision on your marriage and get it moving. She may not even exist but you need to make sure he's not in love with her if she does exist. You will need someone by your side when you go through this very life-changing event and hopefully if he feels the same way about you, he will be the one waiting to pick up the pieces when it's over with. No one can stop you from doing what you need to do so don't let other people manipulate you. But get a good lawyer and if the threats are serious, you may need to alert the police. Good luck!!
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