A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is long...been in a relationship with this guy for the past 4 years but we broke up 8 months ago. We also were engaged. We have had alot of ups and downs and hurdles. Now as soon as we were about to work on trying back again I had a premenstrual disorder episode where I snapped at him and he totally ignored me and by the time I could apologize (within 2 weeks) he admitted that him and his best friend are now working on getting together. He proclaimed his love tome before the episode and wanted to have a kid. We are two ssuccessful 23 year olds. He owns his own house and car with a wellppaying job and I have my own car and an established business. In all I really love him and would like to win him back before he falls in love with his best friend. What do you suggest I do?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 January 2014):
I'll be honest, I think he was looking for a way out, and he just used PMS as the excuse in the end. Realistically speaking, he left for the smallest of reasons and dumped you for the best friend.
You're a very smart and successful woman. You deserve a better guy in your life.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 January 2014):
 things were not great if you had a "emenstrual disorder episode" where you 'snapped at him' and he IGNORED you for TWO WEEKS.
when I get crabby and yell at hubby (or he gets stupid and yells at me) the incident lasts a few minutes...
WEEKS of not talking is NOT a normal response. He was distancing himself from you at that point and had you not apologized he would have been gone forever... not an adult way to handle things but it's the truth.
he was probably trying to figure out how to get with the best friend (because when two people who are male and female and heterosexual and single are BEST friends it's because ONE of them wants more than friendship) all along and saw his chance...
YOU can't make him love you and you can't win him back.
What you can do is open your heart and your hand and HELP HIM get with his BF.... seriously... IF you truly love him you want him happy and if he's happier with her than you... well then that's the way it is.
besides once he sees you being totally altruistic in trying to help him find his happiness he may change his mind. But you have to do it for the right reasons.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 January 2014):
 I agree with CMMP, things couldn't have been all that great if all it took was you snapping at him and there goes a 4 year relationship! And he jumps into another one within 2 weeks? You should look real hard at those "ups and downs and hurdles" and maybe you'll realize that perhaps this break ups is a good thing for you after all. But go ahead and try to talk to him about it, just don't get your hopes up.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (16 January 2014):
How good could things have been if it only took some pms for him to run off with someone else?
I'm asking because you may be a little heart broken, but that shouldn't keep you from being rational. Are you sure he's the right guy for you?
If so, there isn't a fool proof way to win him back. What you should do is call him up, ask him if he'd like to get some coffee or something, then talk. If things go well say something nice without appearing desperate.
You should think about how you can be the best you can be for him. That should bring out his best.
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