A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so i've been in a relationship for about a year with a 45 year old guy. a little backgrounds: I must admit our relationship started out almost completely sexual but after about a month we decided that we actually liked each other and now we are both madly in love. I can honestly say i've definitely weighed out my options: what our future would be like, what would happen if we had kids, what people will think, would my life be better with someone my age. But i can't imagine my life without my crazy guy. So at this point i've only told my most trusted friend about this, but i want to tell my family about this. The thing is im concerned for his safety if i do. My family is normally playful and fun but they are also very protective. I know for a fact that my mom will try to hurt him. So basically i just need advice of how to tell them when the time comes.please no hate replies, i have no daddy issues, i'm not with him for his money because he's well off but by no means rich, yes he does want me for sexual reasons( i would be disappointed if he didn't) but its definitely not the only reason (i've checked we had a few months of distrust on both sides for obvious reasons)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2012): Hey, I don't mean crazy guy in a bad way, he's a bit weird at times but its just a term of endearment I so oddly use. I use it for a lot of ppl.
@Karlos5021:
I don't personally know you so I can't say what it might be that is attracting these older women. Maybe your to mature for women your own age, maybe it's as simple as the way you dress? All I can say is for me when I tried dating guys my own age it never worked out because I was to "boring" i don't like to party, drink, smoke, etc. I never thought I would be dating some one so much older than me in a million years but we were just so compatible in every way, even our hobbies are compatible. He knows how to joke around and tip toe around sensitive topics, and most importantly he knows when he's screwed up. Also maybe it's the places your meeting there women? Maybe go to a dog park(with a dog of course a lot of guys don't realize how important that is) or maybe a coffee shop, maybe your local mall( just don't follow her into Victoria's Secret or anything lol) but be you of course you'll find the right person regardless of age
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2012): I think your mind's running too far far ahead and thinking the worst.. Start by telling your mum.. Just tell her what you've told us.. At the end of the day it's your life.. And just go slow..As for Karlos, some guys just attract older women,.. My nephew for example is younger than me ha ha by ten years and I still go out dancing and clubbing, I'm one of those 30 something women you see, buy I don't look my age (blessed be my mum good genes). Yet he looks older than me so of course older women are more attracted to him, women who are 29 30ish .. And btw he only 25 lol lolWhen I bumped into my nephew his friends who I hadn't met first thought I was his girl and then wouldn't believe I was his aunt with three kids and my darling hubby at home, very flattering for me let me tell you.. So I'd say look fresh no beards or tash, and the girl of your dreams will appear .. Sometimes it just takes time..And good luck sweetie get mum a box of chocolates and some vino.. Good ice breaker..
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2012): What do you mean "crazy guy" OP? Is there a reason other than his age that your family wouldn't like him? I mean just because he's 45 doesn't mean they'd go crazy to protect you, they may not be happy but a year says it's not some fleeting thing.
OP I would just tell them, he's a middle aged man he can take care of himself he doesn't need you to protect him and they'd like to know, not only that but you need a safety net in your relationship and have others who know so you can differing opinions on things.
If this guy is worthy of your love then your family will most likely accept him, even if they are shocked initially.
The "crazy guy" thing sounds a bit suspicious though OP.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2012): What a lucky guy. 45 years of age to have the ability to attract a young woman such as yourself. I'm 28 and all I attract is middle aged women with all kinds of emotional issues and drawbacks which I always end up taking the blame for.
Can I have some info from you :
What does a 28 year old guy have to do to meet women more my age, other than those boo-ga-loo ones as mentioned above?
I'd say I have a better body, and physical abilities, plus livelier, personality and more ambition than most average 45 year olds, so what might I be missing? The only thing I don't have is a lot of money, but I'm working on that to see if it actually makes a difference to my prospects Lol.
To your question (maybe easier said than done) : But what it all boils down to is your family minding their own business and letting you choose the path YOU want in life. If they put their selves in your shoes for a minute, I bet they'd come to the conclusion that although they have family who look out for one-another, it DOESN'T mean they have the full on right to interfere and tell other members how they can and can't live their lives. There IS a line in the sand and this is something they need to remember about you.
All I would suggest to you in terms of whether or not he's right for you, is just go with your heart. Providing you BOTH want the same things from each other and are clear on the pros and cons of the age difference then why not...you're both consenting adults who seem to have a mutual attraction to each other. It might turn out to be the best thing that's ever happened in your life, then again not, but you'll never know unless you find out will you.
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