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I want to teach my cheating ex a lesson

Tagged as: Cheating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 March 2019) 12 Answers - (Newest, 9 March 2019)
A female India age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi! I'm 29 and got married last year. I'm happy with my husband, but my ex bf still calls me despite he being married. He says that he can't forget me, and still wants me. I cleared the air that I'm happy with my husband and won't ever leave him for anything whatsoever. The reason why I left my ex was that he was a cheating scumbag. He cheated on me while there were a few months to go before the supposed wedding of mine with him 2.5 years ago, and married the woman with whom he had slept with. I moved on and was doing great until he started to pester me. He lives in my city and knows my husband's colleagues. What do I do? My husband is a great man, and I don't want him to be involved in the mess. But I want to teach the pig a lesson. Any suggestions?

View related questions: cheated on me, my ex, wedding

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (9 March 2019):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntWell done for involving your husband in this. Changing your number sounds like the best option in this situation. If you keep getting calls from your ex (if he manages to get your number some way), don't answer calls from unknown numbers or, if you do, cut him off as soon as you realize it is him. Maybe even say, before you cut him off, "Leave me alone. I am not interested in hearing from you."

Finding out an ex wants you back because they are not happy CAN be quite cathartic. Been in that situation and I know it helps to heal the hurt - but only if you use it in that way, which it sounds like you have done. Be happy. Your ex never deserved you and is obviously doing the same to his new partner as he did to you. Leave him to his miserable unhappy cheating life and forget about him. You have your "revenge".

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2019):

the biggest lesson he will learn is losing you. he will regret it for the rest of his life. don't risk your current relationship by having this loser continue to call you, change your number.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2019):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I answered the cheap prick's call because I have purchased a new phone a few months ago and didn't have his contact preloaded so that I could block him. Besides, he has multiple numbers. I've blocked all the numbers that are in my knowledge, he had been blocked on all social media since I had split with him. I won't deny the fact that the entire situation of him begging to me did give me some satisfaction, because I was unknowingly carrying on the hurt that he had perpetrated on me years ago. His apology and desperation to have me back in his life, did help me write him off from my mind forever. Feeling relieved after having an open discussion with my husband regarding this, and the conflict is resolved.

PS: Missed writing this information in the previous post. Thanks to all of you for your insight.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2019):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all for the suggestions.

I've had a discussion with my husband regarding this, and yes, I am changing my phone number as well. You guys were right, I should have never answered his call in the first place. There's no way I even want his shadow even in my life.

Thank you, everyone again for changing my mind from wanting revenge to simply be indifferent.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 March 2019):

Honeypie agony auntBLOCK him and get a new phone number. Let his e-mail go straight to the trash.

No matter what you do he will see it as YOU wanting him as well.

You NEED to move on and focus on your marriage and husband, not some past loser who cheated on you.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (5 March 2019):

N91 agony auntYou aren’t over your ex clearly.

If you were, you would block him and ignore his contact. The simple fact that you want to hurt him shows that he’s still occupying your thoughts.

He cheated, you re-married, let it go, block and move on.

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A female reader, ClairM United Kingdom + , writes (5 March 2019):

Your revenge is you moved on and you're happy, if you start trying to create karma things may well backfire.

His punishment is he lost you, block him and get on with your life with your husband, his shitty behaviour led you to a decent man

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (5 March 2019):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntSuch a shame that you are not over the ex yet, especially given that you have a lovely husband now. The opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference. Until you get to a point where you can just casually shrug off any contact from your ex and not even think about it, you are not over him and he is living, rent free, inside your head.

Why would you want revenge on him? He showed his true colours years ago and you came out on top because you met someone loving and honest. While I can understand why you might get some satisfaction from him wanting you back, don't put your marriage at risk because you want "revenge". You already have YOUR revenge: you are happy without him - or so you say.

Block all contact. If needs be, tell your husband and let HIM contact him and tell him to leave you alone. Your ex and the woman he cheated with deserve each other. If she got him through cheating, she will also lose him to cheating. Get on with your own life.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia + , writes (5 March 2019):

Ivyblue agony auntRevenge may well lead to revenge. Speak to your husband. Id even call him on speaker phone while your husband is there and tell him straight. if need be let your husband do the same.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2019):

I agree, you should change your phone number and if your ex continue harassing you tell your husband.

Your ex does not love you, he wants what he can't have, he was marrying you but slept with someone else and married her, now you are married he claims to love you and wants you back.

If you get back with him he will cheat again. He is bad news, do not let him back in your life and do not let him destroy your marriage, he is a scumbag.

I agree you should not think of revenge the best revenge is to be happy and live a happy life.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (5 March 2019):

Change your phone number. You really should inform your husband that you're being harassed. Not sure why you're even entertaining any communication from your ex when you're married. Don't stir-up unnecessary drama; or it just might backfire.

If he can't reach you and you're no contact; the matter is resolved.

If you love your husband; your ex and all that nonsense about him should be in the past. Now you're talking about vengeance?

Get-over him. You're a married-woman now; and have no time for this drama.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2019):

Yeh! get on with your marriage and have a great life with your HUSBAND, your x past should have no part in your life now. Revenge, such a waste of energy that could be put into healthy loving. Doomed to fail if you keep delving into your failed past and greatley unfair to a new marriage.

Just been 'happy' should teach the piggy wiggy a lesson.

Smile Laugh and Love a lot.

Revenge does not fit into the equation of happiness.

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