A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There's a girl. We haven't known each other for that long, but we have been going out on dates. We have talked nearly every day since we met and have really hit it off. We are holding hands, hugging, etc. She has recently gotten out of a bad relationship she was pushed into even though she didn't actually like the guy. She has blatantly told me, along with hints that she likes me and I quote, "couldn't see myself with anyone other than you". That's why I feel this will be different. It has grown to missing each other between classes, etc. I think this is progressing well. I had a date at her house and got a chance to talk with her parents. We hit it off, and she even told me her mom said she thought I was a good guy to be hanging around.Now, I know it's preemptive, but I'm thinking about my future. I have this feeling. She seems right for me. It's not my typical crush. This is much much stronger. I'm not at all saying I'm going to go off and marry her, but I've toyed with the idea of it in the future. I have to say I like the idea. I know that the best way is to grow our relationship and see where it takes us.Now, the problem is this. I am a junior, she is a freshman. Before you criticize us with that, she is very mature, more than most juniors. We fit each other well. Anyway, my primary concern is college. I am going to college in a year and a half. My college plans are close to home (within walking distance), although that is subject to change. My concern is that if we are not very close by that time, she will loose interest and we will go our separate ways. No chance of anything, I am loosing my time. Heartbroken, not sure where to start over. So I kind of have this pushing feeling to kick start this just a little bit.She just told me her parents called her in for "a talk" she said they think we're moving too fast. They see holding hands as too much. I can't stand this because if we don't do any of that stuff, we will only stay friends and we can't ever develop our relationship into anything more. I fear by the time I must leave, we won't be close enough to anything.This is where I ask for advice on what you think we should do next. Please let me know what you think. Thank you for your time, I truly appreciate it.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (20 February 2010):
 Chill out, is my best advice. You both really like each other - that's all that that you need for now. Just relax and let the relationship develop naturally. If you try and force it, you will probably get the opposite effect and you'll force your relationship into destruction. It won't be fun anymore. So hold hands because you want to, and because it feels right, not because you feel like you HAVE to.
You've got a year and a half until you leave. If you spend ALL THAT TIME stressing out and worrying about what will happen, etc. you're going to miss on what's happening right now. Enjoy this time together and enjoy having the relationship grow. And, if you chill out her parents will be more relaxed about you too. You definitely want to be on their good side! If you want a future with this girl, you need to respect her parents and win them over.
A year and a half is a really long time. You've got lots of time to grow close and fall in love. The more you just relax and enjoy yourselves, the closer you'll ultimately be. Good luck, sweetness!
A
female
reader, Gridrebel +, writes (20 February 2010):
 If you both feel it then let it be. Slow down, it will still be there. Make it last. Rushing is just what it is.....rushing. If you are seriously thinking of your future then really think, and act.
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