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male
,
anonymous
writes: I'm 26 and would like some suggestions on the best way to ask out a girl I like.I have been single for just over a year now but when it comes to asking girls out on a date or trying to chat them up I'm really useless at it because I'am too shy and I end up abandoning the whole idea of asking them out. My other relationships have been different, and thinking about it whilst writing this question, they were all set up by friends!!The thing is I go shopping every week and there is a girl at the supermarket I really like. If I happen to be getting served at her checkout all I do is be very pleasant, which I always am anyway, and give her a smile. I know nothing about this girl and the only time I ever see her is at the supermarket and never out at a weekend or around town during the day etc so I never really get another chance to approach her.The only two ideas I have had are to either come out with it and just ask her what her current situation is, or to slip her a note when I hand her my credit card to pay. I know it would help if I could talk to her more but there is never any time and I never know what to say anyway.Your help would be much appreciated.Thanx
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male
reader, iamsoscrewedup333 +, writes (21 April 2006):
I think that the note thing is definitly NOT the way to go. I know that it can be hard to talk to girls/women, but I think that it is a bit weird to slip her a note in the checkout line. I would say that you make a point to go there when she is working and try to start a conversation such as, good to see you again, how much/when do you work here?, Do you like working here? What time do you get off and would you like to maybe get a cup or coffee or something? The coffee thing is always a good thing this way you can talk under little pressure and get to know her better, have some privacy and see if you two really click before having and actual "date" setting.
A
female
reader, bridget +, writes (18 April 2006):
 Hey there pet,
Its really sweet that you like this girl and she would be daft not to like you back.. You sound as if you have alot of qualities to put into a relationship but not alot of confidence to start one...
Thats nothing to be ashamed of though as everyone has nerveous moments or low confidence on some thing in life, Nothing is ever easy...
I have to say that I totally agree with d4u04 here thats the best policy..
Light conversation about what she was upto at the weekend will give you the answers to your questions and will also give you a clear head as to make your mark..
Best Regards
Jacqueline
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (18 April 2006):
Hey there!
Talking to someone of the opposite sex who you like can be really hard hey, no matter what age you are, it doesn't always get easier for eveyrone.
One of the hardest things can be is just working up the courage to say that first word, once you get that first word out, your talking and things might just come out, so you could be ok.
I have a few ideas which will hopefully help you.
If you want to try and talk to her, prepare before!!!!!!!!! That is a really importnat part, is prepare what you ant to say. Have like a mini little speech worked out in your mind of what you will say. Then picture her talking about to you with POSITIVE responses. If you picture the situation in a really positive way, it will going up and talking to her seem much easier. So play the situation over in your mind over and over again- but make sure its a positive one because you don't need negative thoughts.
You could work you way up to asking her out. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Next time you go in just say hi how are you and then next time ask her what shes been up 2 that week and the next time you go in ask her somethign else and before you know it you will be having a huge conv at the check out!!! Remember you don't have to be perfect, your human and everyone gets nervous and she will understand that you might not be at 'your best' while your talking to her.
I honestly reckon its awesome if a guy asks you out by a note (or text/sms message) because if it was totaly unexpected it gives you time to think of how to answer. So you could give her a note, as long as you ask her out, thats all that matters!
You could even try just talking to her casually (no pressure like askng her out) every time you go in and build up the conv a bit then maybe hand her the note.
I know the fear of rejection is really hard and its probbaly whats putting you off a fair bit from asking her out, but EVERYONE goes through rejection, even the people who are in really happy and succesful relationships at the moemnt, they would of been rejected by others before the yfound that special someone, but if they let that fear get in the way, they would not of taken the chance with that special person and would not be so happy right now.
good luck and be brave! :)
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A
female
reader, chachacha  +, writes (18 April 2006):
I would build up to it:
(i) next time, say "how nice to see you again, how are you today?"
(ii) time after: "how nice to see you again - do you enjoy working here?"
(iii) time after that: "how nice to see you again - have you been on your holidays yet? where are you going?"
(iv) time after that: "how nice to see you again - do you ever go for a drink in the [add name of bar}?"
(v) time after that: "how nice to see you again - I don't suppose you'd like to come out for a drink with me on [insert day] would you?"
And see how it goes. The worst thing that can happen is that she says no, and then you haven't lost anything anyway. She'll go home feeling good about herself, because everyone likes to feel that she is attractive to a nice, friendly, kind man.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, d4u04 +, writes (17 April 2006):
 I think you should ask her first to see if she is in a relationship or not but if you can, try to do it sounding breezy and like you're just trying to make conversation. If she then says no she's not in a relationship, I think slipping her a note is a very cool and unique way of doing things, and then also the balls in her court so the pressure and nervousness is off you.
Also, on this note, just put something like your name, number and something like 'I really don't do this sort of thing a lot but I really like you and get in touch if you want to meet for a drink, it's completely your choice, etc...'
good luck
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