A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: so, I have had this crush on one of my female friends,who i will refer 2 as SN, for months now, and i had only told 1 person im a bi female, my best friend. SN is one of my best friends 2 other best friends.So anyway, i got sick of keeping it from everyone, especialy SN, so i got my best friend, who i will refer to as CS from now on, to text SN that i had a crush on her but not to tell anyone.She replied to CS who txted me her reply, and it was as i expected, she hated me 4 it. 4 the next two weeks at school.I had her constantly glaring at me and dissing me.One of our other ftiends, L managed 2 trick SN into telling her what it was. A few days later SN desided 2 spread the fact i am bi round the whole year for no reason. I got so angry i slapped her.We sorted it out with some of the teachers, SN's twin CN and L so now we are ok. Afrter 6 weeks stuff happened and she doesnt know if she hates me or not and i love her yet she is always taking the piss and some days we are good freinds and the next ay she hates my guts. I dunno what to do.
View related questions:
best friend, crush, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2014): Hi, OP hear. Thanx.
Honeypie ~ I know no-one OWES me to feel the same way, im not stupid. I cant realy talk to her as we were good friends before and now she doesnt know if she hates me. Basicaly, im a coward. Yes though i wish i didnt know if she was or wasnt. And she wont have thought "OMG now everhones gonna think...." because she knew only CS and her knew until she decided to tell everyone i am bi so... yes i do know, unfortunatly.
moon river ~ thanx. I have tried. And failed
Thanx
OP
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (27 September 2014):
 Here is the thing about crushes...
No one OWES you to you feel the same in return. And when you "declare" your love for someone you stand the chance of losing them as friend, being resented for telling them or just making them REALLY uncomfortable with knowing how you feel.
Usually a CRUSH is a fantasy. You liking a girl who MAY NOT be gay or bi is hard for you, but REALLY uncomfortable for her. Because in a way, it can seem like you do not respect that she is straight.
And NEVER get a friend to do your "dirty" work. If you want to SHARE something PERSONAL and EMOTIONAL have the guts to do it yourself. When you involve other people you not only put the "person of your affection" in a weird circumstance but the friend you ask to pass on the message as well.
So what can you do? TALK SN. Tell you are sorry it turned into all this huge uncomfortable drama. And then, most of all RESPECT and ACCEPT that she doesn't feel the same as you, which mean YOU need to stop pushing for something YOU want, if she doesn't.
NEXT time you have a crush on someone, think before you feel you HAVE to share.
And also LEARN that nothing ventured, nothing gained. At least now you know, she ISN'T into you. Where as before you might have thought she liked you more than just as friends.
She reacted in a not so nice way, but maybe if you had gone about it in a more simple way (told her yourself when you were one-on-one) she could have turned you down nicely and you both moved on. Her reaction was a "OMG now everyone is going to think I'm bi or gay and I'm NOT!" At your age you know how people are with rumors and people being different.
...............................
A
female
reader, moon river +, writes (27 September 2014):
 It sounds like you deserve better. Maybe you need to try and change in with some new friends and try get over the crush.
...............................
|
