A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend nearly 3 months now and i really thought i loved him. However im not so sure. I knw it seems shallow but im not really physically attracted to him.I have been wondering if i can do better. My mum is always saying my bf never shows me any respect as he is often 1- 1 and a half hours late neeting me.His mate martyn agrees he does treat me badly but he knows he really cares about me. me and my bf had a arguement a while back and i got really upset and realised i needed him. But now im not so sure.Why cant i find a guy who's attractive and nice.I have been talking to his mate martyn alot. We are really good mates however recently things seem to be more flirty. I was drunk at a party and had the urge to kiss him but resisted. Im not saying i want anything to happen with this guy. Even if i wanted it to it would be impossible as he is best m8s with my boyfriend. But i dunno what to do about my bf im all muddled up one minute i think i love him next i dont. I really miss him n then i try and avoid him. whats going on?? help!!
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male
reader, DKR +, writes (11 May 2007):
 First of all, in my honest oppinion, no one person "needs" another. Although it may feel like it at times.Second, if you question love, you don't love. At least not love enough to be considering a serious relationship that will last.Finally, although its said that "Ye should not go for thee partners buddy", you can't help who you're attracted to and if you feel that this other guy will do better by you then why not go for it. Of course it 'MAY' break friendships but sometimes you have to look after number one, but be sure the other guy feels the same before you make the move otherwise it's just not worth the hassle.Example: I was involved with a girl once, nothing too heavy but it was a relationship none-the-less. I started to like her friend better. After i knew that her friend liked me too i made a move. Now this may seem really, really shallow and i'll probably get flamed for it, but no-one can deny me my own happiness and with God as my witness i still am. We've been together for 2 years now and are very much in love. We went around it the right way. I told my original partner i didn't feel for her the same way she did for me and that i was steadily becoming more attracted to her friend. Honesty is the best policy and the three of us are still good friends.Whatever you decide to do about this situation just remember that staying with you're guy at the moment while your doubting your feelings isn't going to be of benifit to anyone. It may just be a rocky patch - give it a couple of weeks, if you're not happy with where you are, maybe you should check out your options. Be honest though.
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (11 May 2007):
 You don't miss him, you miss the affection. The reason we go into a relationship with another is to see if we're compatible. You and him obviously are NOT compatible. You don't feel physically attracted to him and he doesn't respect you the way you should. The best thing you can do here is to tell him that although you like him as a person, you don't think you're right for one another and think it's best to finish it.
Trust me, you're only putting off the inevitable. Once you DO finish with him then you are free to find someone who really does love you and can show you the affection you so desire. It may be from his friend, it may not but you won't get it until you move on. When one door closes another one opens. Do the right thing and move on.
Eve
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