A
male
age
41-50,
*ipra
writes:I am born in asian culture and sex is a highly debatable issue when it comes to male-female relationships here. Typically, a woman is not supposed to have any desires of her own and have to surrender to her man's libido when married. She is to be treated as a service provider, with male being the dominant bread-maker. I am not against women having their own desires for men, but the social pressure is too much against this view and it is only wise to go with the wind. My question is, whether is there a relation between the desire of a woman for man and fidelity in a long-term relationship like marriage? The popular myth is, more the woman has desires, more she is likely to shop around for other man who could meet her needs, if they are not met by the man she is married to. Is this true?
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (11 May 2007):
 A lot of people today jump into marriage too quickly. Some don't even bother to marry but prefer to live together. Men and women BOTH have their needs but if they marry then they should know one another inside out. When a couple marry then the woman should want to do things for her husband and vice versa. There should be mutual respect on both sides too. Years ago the man was the breadwinner and the woman was the home maker but in our modern society it isn't always like this. It's all about what works best for both of you and what you both decide on.
Personally I think for a marriage to be successful there should only be one "captain of the ship". One person who makes the final decisions about big things. This isn't to say that the other person doesn't have their say, they communicate together, talk over problems and differences then the decision is made. If one partner isn't happy about it then a compromise is met.
Women have desires just the same as a man does. They should surrender to each other when married and not have it one sided as this only causes resentment and frustration in the partner that doesn't have their needs met.
Love and marriage is all about sharing, loving, trusting, communicating, protecting, doing...
Eve
A
female
reader, Yuna~  +, writes (11 May 2007):
 Very interesting....
I'm Chinese myself and I sort of understand what you mean, but still not fully.
I think in the modern world, girls are now more educated and knows more about options they have. However, it depends on the girl. Being raise in a traditional Chinese way, it's very important for a girl to be loyal to the man. Once a girl decided he's the man, then she must be faithful to him. I think that's fair and relationship should be like that. What you refer as "shop around" is girls sampling to see which guy is best for her. I know western girls can sometimes be sleeping with a few guys at once and might not plan to get settle with any one of them. That's what I personally think it's not quite right. But once again, it's personal opinion.
Same with any relationship related topics. I think one must respect the other counterpart disregarding their gender. Man shouldn't think woman should act as the service provider. It's 21 century right now and equal rights is in act. If equal is too hard in your culture, I think respect will act more imporant than being equal.
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