A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:Why am I still hurting after so many months? is this normal? ? My ex boyfriend and I broke up 10months ago. He said he didn't want a relationship anymore. But then I found out he was cheating on me when we were together.I loved him so much, I finally thought I found the one. We were so good together. He never gave me any reason to doubt him. He was so sweet so lovely. Took me to his friends, family everyone knew about me.I was so hurt when he dumped me and I found out he was cheating.He wanted us to stay friends even now he still emails me. He says I've got a split personality and he can't love me again. Why can't I get over him and what he did? After 10months and am still lost, empty, depressed and still hurting.Why? I have days where I'd hate him not want anything to do with him, then days where I'd miss him and feel really hurt.Will I ever get through this? Why can't he accept that I don't want to be his friend? He emailed me last week asking if he could meet me to say hello. What is wrong with him? I told him I was busy
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2012): it will be much easier for you to get over him if you don't stay in touch with him at all. 10 months is still very recent so it's normal to not yet be over him especially if you're dealing with betrayal and are still in contact with the person who hurt you.
of course he still wants to be friends. He was the one who betrayed you and then dumped you so he's not the one hurting. he just wants to ease his guilt so he can tell himself that what he did wasn't so bad since you're still friends. remaining friends with you is proof to himself that what he did was OK so he won't feel guilty.
don't accept this. he just wants to be friends for his own benefit. if he really cared about you AS A FRIEND even, he would have respectfully broken up with you first, then waited some time, before going into a new relationship.
you should tell him 'sorry I can't be friends right now, maybe in the future' and then stop returning his emails or block him.
A
male
reader, Kyle007  +, writes (23 January 2012):
You said:
Why can't I get over him and what he did? After 10months and am still lost, empty, depressed and still hurting.
Because he is still in touch with you. Tell him that you do not want to be friends and don't want to talk any more.
Eliminate any possible influence he has in your life whatsoever.
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