A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am 61 and had a crush on a fellow half my age -and we became platonic friends and e mailed occasionally and WHEN he came to the city we met for a coffee or lunch which I always paid for-he did offer though. He is a singer and no qualms about knowing he is a jack the lad -I feel so sad because he has now got a job abroad in a resort and know he will do very well on all counts. I enjoy his friendship BUT I am hurting all the time as when he was working not far from where I live he said we could go and celebrate my birthday however two days before he said he couldnt make it because he was working but could meet me for a couple of hours in the after noon a few days later-where we had a coffee etc -so then I went home with nothing on my birthday. I realise he is trying to put me down gently and doesnt want to be unkind but now I have e mailed him and said its best we drop our friendship-he is abroad and have a great time I have no family and I know desperation sometimes comes across and of course the age gap would never work but at least a few crumbs was better than no crumbs-I just dont know how to get anything in my life-I have tried evening classes and they all have their own families to go back to. I rang a friend that I used to have for many years platonic friend but he got married three weeks ago which is great for him so thats something else Ive lost. Please helpthanks
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (16 October 2012):
 Hi
Good for you for going for it and meeting him! It was a brief interlude though and time to move forward now.
I think you need like minded people,you certainly sound adventurous enough to get out there.There are lots of people of similar age and single.Use the internet,doesn't have to be dating sites,just Google whatever might interest you.Look in your local paper too, might be something peeks your interest.Don't give up, you'll find something or someone.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (16 October 2012):
 Doesn't it just drive you crazy when people assume because you are single, you should go to night school or do voluntary work!!! Crikey is that what we singles are suppose to do!!!
Joking aside I sympathise with your plight, you seem like a very nice lady and loneliness can be a real bitch to live with.I agree it's hard to accept someone else's crumbs but something is better than nothing.
Don't know if you have tried meeting folk via the internet on dating or friendship sites?
With free programs like facebook and skype you can chat for hours with people and make some friendly connections...and all in the comfort of your own home.
I think you did a good thing to break the contact with young gun! but dont be surprised if he rolls around again, because men find it much harder to break connections and he will probably wanna know how you are doing.
Just don't rattle the issue too much, forget him for now and find another adventure to explore....If he does get in touch again, you will have lots to talk to him about!!!
Enjoy the friends you have, but if their lives don't mirror your own, don't beat yourself up with the facts...keep plugging away to meet new people until you connect with someone in the same boat as you.
Life goes on and you must go with it :-)
xxx
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A
male
reader, tamperingtampaguy  +, writes (16 October 2012):
If there is ever a time to try and meet people, this is it. Go to meetup.com and find groups of things you like to do. Groups can range from singles of any specific age type or none at all to restaurants, fishing, reading , whatever. I would suggest that. Realize now too, that there are many people not happy about their life. Be grateful that you are alone and not stuck in a relationship situation that sucks and you can not get out of for financial reasons or marriage or whatever. Good luck.
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