A
male
age
,
*rent1122
writes:My son is 22 yrs old his best friend since high school has been a girl called Laura, everyone always said they would be the cutest couple if the both of them weren't too shy to make a move. We knew he always had a crush on her but they just remained friends. 2 years ago she met a guy while in college and got pregnant, engaged and married all with in a year of meeting this guy. Everyone in our samll town figured they did it all because she was pregnant. I am friends with her family and it is apparent that her and her husband do not have a great relationship. A few months ago I noticed that my son and Luara were hanging out a lot again and now I suspect that they may be having an affair. One night I stopped by my sons house and she was there, I didnt knock and when I walked in the room they both jumped up off the couch and started fixing their clothes. A few nigths later when I stopped by her car was there, all the ligths were out and when I wen to the door it was locked. This weekend my son said he was going out of town, when I was talking to Laura's family, she too happened to go out of town to visit friends, her husband stayed behind. I know that my son still has feelings for Laura and I know that they would be happy together BUT you do not sleep with a married girl. Regardless if there are problems or not sleeping with another person isnt going to help things. I want to confront him but I am afraid he will get upset. after many years we are just now having a good father - son relationship. I dont want to hurt out relationship but I am seriously worried and disappointed if he is involved in a relationship with a married girl. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): yes talk to him tell him the merits of having an affair (if there are any) and then leave it. it is sad that his sex partner thinks so little of her husband that she blatantly screws around with your son not bothering to cover up her adultery. imagine having this one as your daughter in law?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2010): confront him, say that you know, I mean why else would you start fixing your clothes when someone came in
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (5 June 2010):
 Hmmm...yeah, he's having an affair. I wouldn't talk to him about it, as I'm sure he knows what he's doing is flat wrong. If he brings it up to you (which he WILL once Laura's husband finds out she's screwing around on him), tell him what you think.
You could ask him if he's seeing someone though. That might open the door for him to disclose or not. He's a grown-up, and trust me, you telling him he's wrong will not do any good.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (5 June 2010):
 If you decide to talk to him, it's all about the approach. Don't go in chastising him like he's a child and tell him you are disappointed in his behavior; tell him to be careful because he's playing with fire. If he and Laura want to be together, she needs to leave her husband. Until she's willing to do that, your son stands to be hurt and you should tell him this, but in a gentle, concerned, and non-judgmental way.
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