A
female
age
41-50,
*tf1977
writes:I am a bit in a pickle here.. I have a male cousin who is 10 yrs older than me that comes from the US. He comes once in a while for a vacation and special occasions. He always stays with us. Naturally we are close. It has been a while since the last time he came. Last year, he visited for the wedding of our cousin. We are going to travel together along with my family and other members. When he visited us, he usually gives us candies and sometimes kid stuff. This time, he gave me a watch for Christmas. I thought maybe he just misses me and just wants me to be happy. During the time of our stay in my other cousin, we spend a lot of time together though we have other cousins around. I begin to notice that he gives me more attention than the others.Even does not leave my side. My other cousins I believe started to notice. I admit that I have a big crush on him when I was 18. That was before. It is hard for me now because we are older, more mature and we could talk about anything. I feel he is my soulmate of sorts. We e-mail every other day just to see if one of us is okay. I still remain cautious. But can't help it. Even harder still, I will be going to the US next month. He knows that I will be there, he wants me to visit. I don't know what will happen to us.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): If you're in the Philippines and he's in the USA and you only see each other once in a while it's unlikely that there's any lasting relationship likely to develop, other than the closeness that you already have. You haven't said whether he feels the same for you as you do for him, so I think you need to talk to him about that if you think he might.
He's aged 40+ and you're aged 30+ so although there's an age gap, it's not all that big - or important. The big question is whether either of you are married or otherwise attached. I'll assume that you're not.
A lot depends on what kind of cousins you are - 1st, 2nd or whatever. I'll assume that you are 1st cousins. As I understand it, first cousin relationships in the Philippines are not allowed, but I'm not sure whether that's the law of the land or a religious law. You are better placed than me to establish the facts about that. The USA is different, some states allow it, others do not so it's a matter of where you live that decides whether it's allowed or not.
You've got strong feelings for him, but you have to ask yourselves if you would like to take the relationship any further than just being members of the same family. If you do, it appears that you would have to move to a state in the USA where cousin relationships are allowed. In any case, if you were to simply live together rather than get married, you would have to be literally caught in the act of having sex for the authorities to be able to prosecute!
A
female
reader, wtf1977 +, writes (10 January 2009):
wtf1977 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry I did not made it clearer. Today my one of my close cousins approached me, she was with me in the trip. She asked me if there is something going on - relationship. She told me it is very obvious that there is an attraction going on with me and my guy cousin. She reacted to the gift that my cousin gave me, because none of my male cousins gives gifts like that. My question is how to handle feelings for my male cousin.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (9 January 2009):
 Are you first cousin's? Or cousins of a more distant variety?
And like Uncle Phil asked.. what's the question?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): So - could you please tell me what the problem is, and what your question is?
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