| A
male
,
*ustful
writes: I told my sister in law that i fancy her a couple of months ago she lives 200 miles from us but i can't stop thinking about her sexual ,i am married with a son but feel traped in the marriage very distent from my wife.My wife has put on weight that she can't get rid of after pregnecy, my job reputation and career would be on the line if i got caught texting my sister in law,i'm worried i wouldn't be able to see my son. I think i love my sister in law but she keeps telling me nothing will happen but she replys to some sourcy texts some times then won't answer othertimes,i really want to be with here but feel she will reject me if i make the 1st mood, She has 3 kids and is very beautiful i don't know what to do please help me. lustful
View related questions:
sister in law, text Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009): I am in love with my sister-in-law, too. She acts like she wants me. I catch her giving me head to toe looks and leaning over me to get to something, brushing against me, playing footsie, anything to touch me. But I don't know if it's just an act. She keeps getting more and more beautiful over the years, and I am left with a dull, void feeling: something has gone missing.
A
male
reader, brettmichaels89  +, writes (17 February 2009):
my wife is in love with my brother and he with her,,he is in a serious relationship with 2 kids and my wife and i have 1,,they both know that i know the situation and i have told them they r free to do anything that they like when he has the chance to get away from his g/f.so there is nothing wrong with your feelings u just need to see how she feels and decide from there what the 2 of u should do,,and if niether of u r happy in your current relationships and want to be together than that is where u need to be
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009): I've been in love with my wife's sister for 10 years now. I first met her when my wife and I were still dating in college. I dismissed my feelings because I figured it was just infatuation, but now I am 30 years old and I see her weekly and I still feel that feeling in my stomach when I see her. I know that I do truly love her. I could never hurt my wife though because she is such a wonderful person. I suppose I will have to just learn to live with it, but it is very hard, and sometimes I want to kill myself so that I won't have to live with the pain of unrequited love and guilt that I feel any longer.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dave128  +, writes (20 January 2009):
I too love my sister in law. I fantasize about her all the time. It's mainly a sexual thing as I can't imagine I'd leave my wife nor her her husband.We have flirted in the past and sometimes I think she's serious but then nothing becomes of it.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dave128 +, writes (4 January 2009):
I've been in love with my sister-in-law for almost 30 years - she doesn't know, but I wish I could tell her. I married her sister 20 years ago and she was married about 5 years ago to a man she met because she didn';t want to get on the shelf. I dream about her and masterbate fantasinng were making love virtually every day. I think I love her more than my wife. This is not some pervervter fantasy. Writing this I now know I really love her, but I still don't know how to tell her.Neither of them know how I feel, but I wish I could tell them.I suspect my wife knows because of things she's said - she even stated I hadn't to try and shag her sister when she stayed at outr house once - I nealy did too. How can she hate me for loving her family? I don't remotely fancy her other sister who looks even more like my wife - same hair colour and body shape (very slim and sexy but not the girl I love).
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): I too know how you feel. I wouldn’t even been to think that I am in love with my sister-in-law, but in the same respect I can not stop thinking about her and what might have been. See, she is my wife’s older sister and initially my wife was dating my buddy and she was supposed to set me up with her sister, but she didn’t. She, (my wife) being as fickle as always decided not to even tell me about her sister and then proceeded to break it off with my buddy and wanted to date me. I thought this was ok with my friend, because I thought they were done. No, as I found out later she just dumped him. This caused a falling out with my friend who decided to move.
By now we had been dating for a while and I realized that my now wife struggled with many emotional problems. Witch should have been a sign, but I felt sorry for her and wanted to (for some reason) to take care of her. To make a long and painful story (and marriage) short we now have two kids and 8 years together.
Lately I know the fire of our relationship is down to almost nothing. I have tried many times and ways to help it. But, she refuses any outside help. I have been nothing but supportive through all her bad choices; job changes, whole career changes, just a complete mis-management of her life. I have always been there with the reliable career. I have been pretty much an only parent. She always wanted nothing to with being mother. She wanted to be a mom not a mother.
So I got used to taking care of the; kids, house work, yard work literally everything. All on top of a 50+ hour work week. But, I just figured it was easier than a divorce and split home for the kids.
But here lately, it’s been so painfully obvious to me what wonderful woman her sister is. She has been the most amazing wife and mother (I’ve noticed) over the years. She got involved (and pregnant) with my now brother-in-law. But he was horrible, I had no respect for him. He was verbally abusing, would constantly go into rages and break her things, he wouldn’t let her work but rarely gave her money. He would never tell her that he loved her. He wouldn’t even marry her, but he had to or his insurance wouldn’t cover their second child. So he just had a judge to marry them. Romantic huh. He also would have nothing to do with his kids, which made me the most mad. She has been nothing short of the perfect, respectful (even though she shouldn’t have been) wife and mother. I felt so sorry for her.
Anyway, we as families have been spending a lot more time together. With joint vacations, camping and picnics. And of course, it’s just been her and her kids because her husband won’t have anything to do with the rest of the family. And I just can’t stop thinking about her. She is everything I wanted in a wife and person. And it’s not a sexual thing, I respect her too much just to think about that. It’s everything else. Maybe, it’s me but she always over-thanks me for the things I do help out. She always makes comments to me that she wished her husband would the things I do, as far as cooking and house chores and what not. I always figured it was because of way my brother-in-law was. But, recently, her and her kids stayed with us because her husband was out of town. She usually does this, because she does not like being alone.
But this time was some how so different. The way she would look and talk to me, and the comments….just more intense I guess. She seemed to notice how more her kids had warmed up to me, considering the father figure they had. We even stayed up talking until two in the morning, and that has never happened.
It has just been driving me crazy for the past two weeks. I can’t stop think about her. I can’t sleep or eat well. I’m having trouble concentrating at work. I even broke down on morning when I heard a love song on the radio, and all I could think of was her.
Now, it’s not a physical attraction. Because, my both she and my wife are very good looking. They are less than a year and sometimes are mistaken as twins. So, it’s nothing like that. I like women on personality.
I would never dream of telling this to my sister-in-law unless she gave me some super obvious sign. Because I think she is much like me, it that we both resigned ourselves to being the role of the reliable and supportive spouse, and to be there for our children until the end. But it is comforting to know that I am not alone in my daily pain and despair.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): I too am in love with my SIL and she's in love with me. We first expressed our feelings for each other over a year ago. I was single at the time and my bro and her have 3 kids together. We never went passed a simple peck once or twice as my morals kept me under control. We did meet up for dancing once and had a couple heartfelt emails with each other, but the physical stuff never transpired. Unfortunately, for us, we sort of "got caught" by my brother and stuff was messed up for quite sometime and I went from seeing/talking with her almost everyday to once a week if lucky. After all that, I found a girlfriend and done my best to move on. Recently, we've gained my brother's trust to see each other by default and my SIL and I had a few talks and we're still in love with each other. But what are we supposed to do? My "new" relationship with my girlfriend is awesome and she's really the greatest thing to ever happen to me. My SIL isn't happy in her marriage, but that's a problem I wish I could help, but can't. We both have to just move on. To me, my SIL is the greatest woman on earth and I'll love her until the day I die. But all I can offer her is my love. That's it.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): The lady who wrote that obsessions come and go all your life is so right. I was obssessed but luckily did nothing about it. Coming out the other side, I kep my wife and children and ended up with a good friend in her sister.
A much longer lasting and deeper relationship that I could ever have hoped for.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): well ive been with my wife for 10 years we have a 6 year old boy my wife has just found her half sister they havent seen each other for 20 years i was chatting on msn one night to my sister in law while my wife was in bed and she sent me a pik of her now hair do only she sent the wrong pik it was of her breasts so i made a comment on them (huuummm nice love what about your hair though) from then on we txt everyday sent piks to each other and then she came to stop for the weekend this is where it went wrong my wife was downstairs in the seller kitchen and i was half asleep upstairs my sister in law got on top of me and started snogging me i responded by snogging her too i must say it was good but my wife came in and cought us the s*it hit the fan iam love my wife but my sister in law is horny like me i think we should have a 3some lol but still trying to talk the wife into it bless her
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): I am the WIFE in this situation. I have been married for 20 years, two kids, totaly faithful and would have loved my husband to the end. However he has been flirting with his brothers wife for some time now, and recently I have found a lot of evidence that proves its more than that, text messages, phone calls, he goes to see her at her home alone etc...
How foolish I have been. I certainly don't want a husband who wants to be with someone else. If he had have told me about this earlier, we could have both moved on respectfully. Now that I have found out that this has gone on behind my back, I don't hate him, but I don't want anything to do with him anymore. This has completely destroyed our families which used to spend every party, BBQ, Xmas, Birthday, Anniversary, you name it, any occassion we could find to get together. Now we never see each other anymore.
My advise to you would be:
( 1.) Its a tough problem you have if your brain isn't strong enough to rule your body and your penis takes over, so have a wank while thinking of your sister in law. In the next crutial moments when your brain takes some power back to think, try to assess how much damage there will be if you go ahead with this.
( 2.) If you are OK with the assessed percentage of damage and you do want to go ahead with this then tell your wife you want to separate because she is fat and you don't love her anymore. At least she will respect that you had the balls to tell her.
( 3.) Move out, not forgetting that if you do end up with your sister in law, the pressure will be on because if you think that much of yourself and you put on a bit of weight she may well leave you for someone thinner. Then you will be fat, alone and your ex wife will have moved on while your penis was ruling your life.
( 4.) All this sarcasm, look if you don't respect your wife anymore why are you with her. Talk to her about it and leave her, she might suprise you and be happy about you leaving, but don't leave her because you think you want to be with your sister in law. Obsessions come and go and will do your whole life, get used to it...
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): i feel you guys i am too in love with my sister in law.. i mean i probably will never tell her but it is more thanjust sexual attraction i feel for her... of course i want to fullfill all my sexual fantasies with her but i just cant bare it anymore... i go to sleep thinking of her.. i wake uo thinking of her... she has caught me sometimes checking her out but says nothing,.. she know i got the hot for her but im scared i will loose her somehow. what do i do
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2007): i totally understand i live with my sister in law with my wife and son i have fantasies about her and have been for years my wife knows i fell in love with her but she thinks it was a phase and it is over in a letter i wrote her after a fight me and my sis in law had i told her that at one point i was in love with her i think it freaked her out but she was flattered at the same time i know she has been attracted to me in the past but i have not made a move and most likely wont
i have to accept the fact that that cant happen and you should too
...............................
A
male
reader, madman??? +, writes (17 December 2007):
I'm to in love with my sister-in-law.
Suddenly that happen.
I was a bit scared to talk about it with her, because she likes (just likes) a brother-in-faith, but I decided to go bit by bit.
Every single night I dream about her.
Then that was my first step.
I told her: I have had a dream about you!
She just smile.
but I said. That was the number 1000.
A thousand times I had a dream about you.
and just leave the place where I was.
Now she knows at least I dream about her.
Next step is to tell her I'm not happy with her sister.
And the next is to say to her how much I love her.
I been marriage before, had two kids, than split up.
I met my actual wife on a swimming pool. She was with her young sister. My brother marriage her old sister.
My sister-in-law is just like me. We like the same sort of music, computers, blogs, orkut, msn space, and things like this. And be irresponsible a lot. lol.
I just love her. It's not just sex. Sex I have with my wife. I want to be with her. Maybe I give up my marriage, and ask her out. I don't know. I just don't know.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): I've been married to my wife for almost 6 years. we had a lot of trouble before we wed but things seemed to smooth out in time for the ceremony. it was great for a couple years. then she tricked me ,so to speak, into having a second child which I didn't want. it was around that time that she had slipped back into her old habits, putting a strain on our relationship yet again. during all of this her sister and I became best friends after we both began to smoke pot together. it wasn't long after that,that I became infatuated with her and soon I felt like I was in love with her. moreso than I ever felt with my wife. shes the prettiet thing I've ever seen and she has the best personality ever. we jus click I guess. plus shes redheaded jus like my wife and that's a big plus for me because I have a thing for redheads. I don't know what to make of the deal because everythings so erratic. sometimes we'll stare at each other for several minutes and just smile. I feel like were connected but I'm afraid to tell her my true feelings for fear that she will end our friendship. but she is simply irresitable. I want her more than life itself but I still love my wife in many ways and I don't want to destroy my family(we have two boys). but the fact still remains that I think about her night and day. I feel so weird for feeling that way about her. like I'm some perverted freak. but my feelings for her are so definite now that I can't fight them off. recently she moved in with us because of problems at home and it has been the best thing ever. but at the same time the very thing that tempts me so much is in front of my face more than ever. ill see her coming out of the shower or walking down the hall with a skimpy tank top showing her belly and I become overwhelmed with emotions. I know I don't just want sex. I just want a kiss to know if she cares for me at all. the funny thing is, I've never cheated on my wife and said I never would but my wife has accused me of doing just that twice before. I felt so untrusted. now that I want to, I feel like my wife sort of deserves it after falsely accusing me before when I was totally against the idea. its all very weird and I really need some helping words.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): Sometimes you just marry the wrong person, men and women have affairs when this type of thing happen, just because you conect with someone allbeit your brothers wife does not make it wrong, especailly if she conects with you.
what you have to remember is that regardless of the title of sister inlaw she is still a person with her own identity and personallity which you love regardless.
however if i was you i think you should say something to her like, " i really care for you, love you, and wish i eas with someone like you" and then leave it and get on with you life with your family.
this way you have put the ball in her court and she knows she can have you whenever she wants, which oneday she might take you up on this offer, thats what i have done with my brothers wife, whilst she has not commited in any way i know that if or when the times comes she will be with me. and she is that good i will wait forever for that to happen, good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): I am in the same boat. I am 46, and my sister in law is 39. She has two kids and so have I. I had a roll with my wife one time, and I seek her out for comfort. In her car (during office lunch time, we had barely a precious 30 minutes), I hugged her and told her I think of her every day. She seemed delighted to know that she is been admired, but I cannot read anything further than that. We didi not do anything else besides hugging, and I somehow felt that she hugged me in return just to comfort me. It seemed like an obligatory hug.
But that precious 30 minutes which happened two years ago still lingers in my mind. Ever since that time, we never didi anything else and neither have I talked anything more about how I felt for her. By the way, I never failed to call her in the office to say happy birthday to her every year for the past four years. She is always on my mind, day and night.
But the fear of losing my two lovely kids if this thing becomes know is holding me back. My wife... I will never do anything to hurt her, though she has been nasty to me at times (Her family always rank above me).
I am in pain. What can I do. I look at her picture evry now and then (I cut her out from a family snapshot). Maybe I will never ever have a chance to do anything more than just pretending, whenever I see her, that no special feelings exist). She knows that I crave for her, but do woman take the initiative if they want something?
She stayed over at our place a month ago after a roll with her husband. He hit her with a punch to her arm. It wasn't anything serious, but the fact that the rascal hit her just bothers me (Otherwise when he is sane, he is okay, a responsible dad, to be fair). I can't even protect her.
Help me... I feel such a greta vaccuum inside of me, so dried up and unloved. Does she like or even remotely love me. Any chance at all? Should I ask her out. If a woman in her situation give an excuse not to go out with me, should I pursue further?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): male reader me too i have fallen in love with my sister in love for the last 3 years .i really want to have sex with her but i dont know how to tell her.please help if you have any ideas.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): my brother in law is 16years older than me. we have had sex and spent loads of time together, he is a great guy but married to my sister, he is forever telling me that he is in love with me but i dont know if i actually believe him, part of me just thinks he wants to sleep with me. i dont know what to do, i am really tempted but i know it would destroy my sister as she has three kids with him and my family if anyone ever found out!!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): I am longing to be my SIL's slave. She is strong, sexy and she despises me, because she knows that I am a weak character.But that's making her even more attractive for me. So sheis playing the game with me: look, sucker, you can't haveme. And that is turning me on and on and on and on. I am sure if I could have her it wouldn't be that hot.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): Go for it. I am in the same boat. I want to nail her so bad that I get hard thing about it.Try it and see if its any good and go from there. Mine is my wifes sister.I would just like to know if she is any good.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007): well just go for it if she sais no well she just doesnt love you but you will never know if you dont try
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2007): I think i'm in love with my SIL & i don't know what to do.
I met her when i started dating her sister 10 years ago before we eventually got wed. She's married to someone who takes her for granted, never helps out around the house & i've always had a 'soft' spot for her & looked out for her.
We've always been quite close but recently we are getting closer & i can't stop thinking about her.
We walk our dogs together so we talk about all sorts of things..but she's started to show what i think is more affection....like she might stroke/touch my arm when we are talking about something because we mention something amusing, she also confides in me (says i'm a great listener) & something happened during christmas when everyone was round at our house so it was tight for space, when we passed each other we touched hands but we both reached out as we passed so we were touching hands/fingers for longer as we passed....
Is it just me or does she have the same feelings as me from all/any of these actions mentioned? I look in her eyes & i'm wondering if she feels the same..i really want to kiss her but what if i'm wrong & it's just all in my head? It's driving me nuts? I can't stop thinking about her!
Does anybody think she has the same feelings?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2007): If it is sex you are looking at with your SIL then trust me you will eventually get bored after you bang her a few hundred times. If it is purely love then go for it with a proviso that no sex atleast for first 6 months of dating and if you both remain in love still, then all's fair in love and war as they say. But no wham bams and quickies with relatives as you will fall in the moral abyss.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 January 2007):
 Once again we have a poster who isn't remotely interested in getting any advice. Not sure he's even looking for approval, but maybe just getting off posting his situation. How tiresome.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): Well, I love my sister in law, and unlike Dr Ravenscroft assumption, she isn't my brother's wife, she's my brother-in-laws wife - but that still makes her my SIL.
She's had a few affairs which her hubby has caught her out on, and my wife has her self a few affairs from work which I have found out about. My wife has always blamed her figure on "Baby weight", but our youngest daughter is thirteen, and my wife is a bountiful 20+ stone... I think the cream cakes etc are the real reason...
Me and my Sister-in-law have a very special relationship, both with children involved, but one which will continue in private for as long as possible. And when the truth comes out, at least we can state that both our spouses were the first to cheat.. but we bless them for bringing us together.
So basically, if your spouse is cheating on you, and your sister in laws spouse is cheating - then befriend her, she needs it and so do you!
...............................
A
male
reader, agu30 +, writes (11 December 2006):
I to once have feeling for my sister in law when I was a little younger. I was about in my early 20s when this sudden lust occured.However if you repect your brother you will end this now.I belive that this is all in your mind.I think this is a act of jealously noless maybe you think your sister in law is better then your wife and you may even catch yourself comparing them however this is not always the case it could just be that your jealous of your brother and want his wife instead or feel a need to try to woe her away from your brother and atempt to prove something for yourself.But please listen to me when I say you must stop this it is very easy to stop thinking about her when you think about your brother....only a low life would have a affair with his brothers wife.
Good Luck,
Dr.Ravenscroft
...............................
A
male
reader, dorfmeistersfan +, writes (2 December 2006):
 When you told your sister in law you had a fantacies of her....how did she react? what words did she use to respond to you?
...............................
A
male
reader, whitetie +, writes (1 December 2006):
Dear Lustful.
Many men feel trapped in various relationships be it dating or marriage.
Your sister in law is not in love with you, she loves your brother. You are married with children. You should just forget about your S.I.L ad focus on rekindling the romance in your relationship. Many women feel very insecure about their "baby weight". The weight is easy to shead but a marriage and family is devastating to lose. You have to focus on your wife and forget about your brothers!!!!
You obviously fell in love with your wife, and from that love came a child. Rescept your family and yourself, forget about your sister in law. Rekindle your romance with your wife.
...............................
|
