A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i need advice please. i dont know what to do regarding my work colleague. he started the job we're in 8 months ago. his wife left him last year and hes used me as a huge emotional crutch which ive been happy about. i really like him, hes funny and we clicked. heres the problems about 4 months ago i saw some red flags-stuff he was saying didnt add up. he has 4 kids from 2 ex's and has to pay maintanance yet was always boasting about the amount of savings he had-roughly 60,000 pounds and how he had 3 foreign properties etc. something was telling me this was phooey. my 2 close friends also smelled a rat and said he was lying but these lies are getting bigger and more wild-whys he doing this? ive helped him loads-getting through work assessments-ive always been there at the end of the phone for him. another thing that hurts is when we have luch/coffee he stands at the counter with me and says nothing leaving me to pay-always i think hes only paid once-ive paid for the last 6 months. what really hurt was i like him a lot but now hes saying hes dating a girl ive seen her profile on facebook and i know shes a friend of his family but you can see from her profile shes dating someone else-more lies yet hes carrying on with this charade.the other night we were talking hypothetically and he said he could never see me as a girlfriend as i would evntually suffocate him-i spent the rest of the shift with him in silence i was so hurt he could say that after everything and no way am i pushy-my friends went mad when i told them-i spent the whole night in tears and he rung me the next day and didnt know what he had done-didnt even mention it. that was last wednesday and hes now on holiday. what have i done wrong im so hurt i feel used and all ive tried to do is help
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (4 April 2010):
 This is an expensive lesson in life. Cut your losses and move on .
Be smarter next time and don't commit this mistake again.
Let no one take advantage of your kindness and generosity.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (4 April 2010):
 Sometimes people just abuse our good natures, you know? We extend a hand in friendship and they use it to grab everything they can. At this point you need to back off him and let him live his life. There's no point in you continuing to give when he hasn't given anything back. Let him buy his own coffee and do his own thing, while you do yours.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Godchild +, writes (3 April 2010):
No more tears! Girl Cheer up ! He is clearly a liar. Why would you want a man like that or a friend. Thank god he showed you what a jerk he really is. You see his wife left him. It takes a lot for a woman to leave a man alone. She packed her bags and ran with her sanity. Now you do the same at least you don't have years invested in this guy. Don't worry be happy! Go to work with your head held high, cause you deserve better.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 April 2010):
Move on from this one and find a guy who is actually going to treat you with respect. You deserve a better kind of friend.
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A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (3 April 2010):
You dear lady have done nothing wrong whatsoever, you have given your heart and soul to someone who needed your support. The lesson you have learnt is that it is no good givibg and expecting a good retuurn on your emtional investment.
Like is not like that I fear and that is my experience. Just bow out gracefully. You are a Princess and have acted from the heart - keep doing that as you will be rewarded of that I am confident but not with him!
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