A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I suffered from depression and she knew this before we went out. We went out for 3 months and she tried to get me to see that I needed help but i never did. It started getting worse so I had a lot of anger and I argued with her a lot. I argued with her about everything for no reason, I didn't mean it. SO that's why she broke up with me. She's really a mature girl and not the type to go out with me just because she wanted to and she had relationships before but they were really short because she never truly liked them but she truly liked me. I'm taking medication right now and I talked to her Wednesday the day after we broke up and she said she needed time and wanted to talk later. Thursday we talked for a while and she said she might give me time to show her i can get better and she just wanted to be friends for now and because the way i was, she watched my life spiral out of control and she was hurt because i argued with her a lot and she didn't know why. So heres the thing she was fine Thursday we talked liked we normally would then Friday at school i sat with some of my friends for awhile then i went and sat next to her for awhile. She was happy and flirting with me and after lunch she wanted to walk to class with me instead of with her friends but her friend got her to come with them. Later We walked to our cars together and said bye with a smile. Then Saturday night we talked on the phone for awhile and everything was fine we laughed and everything was normal. Monday at school everything thing went down hill. She seemed irritated with me when i tried to talk to her but was nice to all her friends and my friends but ignored me the whole day then Tuesday came it was the same and she gave me a really nasty look at me at lunch as she walked by so i stopped talking to her for half of the day. Wednesday she started talking to me and smiling at me. Then at work that night she was happy to see me and when she left she said bye to me with a smile. Thursday she ignored me again and seemed irritated so i stopped talking to her. Friday at school she ignored me all day then at work she was talking to me a little bit. Saturday i got on face book and she was on for about 30min after i was on so i said hi but she ignored me so 15min later i asked if she was their then 10min later she signed off. Sunday at work she ignored me completely and since then she doesn't talk to me unless i talk to her and she never says much. She does spend more time with her friends than she used too. I still like her and I hold hope that we could get back together.Were both 18.+she ignores my text messages asking her to talkI have a cooking class with her and one of her friends was talking about how she broke up with her boyfriend and telling about how her other boyfriends were jerks. She interrupted and changed the subject. Last week one of her friends i think were telling her something about speed dating and she said shes not into speed dating stuff. Then looked at me, then looked away.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (14 February 2009):
I think you have really really hurt her, whether you meant to or not.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-think-my-husband-is-bi-polar-and.html
Read this question about how confused and hurt this woman feels. It may give you an idea of what she is feeling. When you are with someone with depression and they beat you down every day but you don't feel you can be angry or blame them because you know it's not their fault, it can be soul destroying and some times the best thing you can do it get out of the situation before you end up seriously ill yourself.
Her friends are helping her get through this by trying their hardest to get her to get over you, by being angry with you and what ever it takes for her to move on. All they see is that you really hurt her and dragged her into a dark place, which (although it was the illness and not you really) you did.
I think the best thing you can do is give her some distance.
Write her an email or letter apologising and explaining why you did what you did and tell her that you are working hard on getting better and once you ARE FULLY better, you'd really like to start again and let her see the real you, not the mentally ill you.
Then back off and let her get back to her normal self again.
I think you could also help answer that other question that I gave you the link to, as you have been there and could really explain it well.
Get well and then you'll be free to see what happens. Until you are well, just be yourself and keep your distance.
Good Luck!! xx
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