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male
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anonymous
writes: I left my girlfriend 4 months ago for another younger girl and lied terribly to my ex, she had no idea. When we split up I lied to her for months about their being anyone else, we were still in contact as we had to discuss our house. She knew at this time I was lieing about my new girlfriend. I was distant with her for about 8 months before we split and didn't show her much affection, allways late in meeting her and brief on the phone we still had regular sex, but I wasn't really that happy. I told her in the end that I loved her but was not in love with her, she was heartbroken. We had always discused having a family together, we really had it all. I told her when we split I wanted children but not with her. After telling her I was going I stayed in the house with her for 2 weeks we didn't sleep together then, but still shared our bed, one night as we hugged each other I confided that I didn't find her sexually attractive anymore, she quietly sobbed, she had been my soul mate for years and I treated her terribly, not intentionally. We had been together for over seven years and I can't believe how I could have been such a bastard, she even supported me whilst I was finishing my training.I have moved in with my new girlfriend. We are happy together but she has 2 young children from her previous marriage. My feelings are now dwindling for my new girlfriend, I think I just got carried away, and I now know that I'm still in love with my ex. It's not until you've lost something special that you realise how stupid you've been. I never intentionally meant to hurt her, but she now knows that I lied, she has been pleasant and caring all the way through this break up. I want to get back with my ex, for the right reasons, because I am still in love with her and can't bare to be without her. How do I get her back with her will she take me back after the bad way that I have treated her? I cannot see how she will ever trust me again as I have lied so much. What can I do I never meant to hurt her but I want her back now?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2007): Id give it up, if you did that to me id never want to see you again, and if u got in contact with me, it would hurt all over again.
A
male
reader, Withnail700  +, writes (12 July 2006):
 This happened to me. I left her several times in the two years we were together, twice to date another girl. I'd always go back to my ex after missing her when we were apart. It's a messy game to get into and you have to ask yourself the question of why you left her in the first place if it was so good? I always decided I really did love her when we were apart although as soon as we got back together the feelings disappeared quite quickly. The very last straw occured when I went to 'visit' another girl I'd met online the last time my girlfriend and I were apart. She (my gf) found out and dumped me for lying and deceiving her - and rightly so. Although I never actually cheated on her in the physical sense the intent was there. Do you know what I mean? My loyalties were spilt and I think when that happens its vwery hard to go back and start again. Sometimes we convince ourselves it really was love in their absence - only to be proved wrong when the acid test of being back together comes along. I think in my case I allowed sentiment and deep affection to be confused with real love. Ask yourself if this is the case with yourself and act accordingly.
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A
female
reader, *lola* +, writes (1 July 2006):
 You have treated your ex badly. But if you love her than i think you should go for it! Tell her how you feel and how you were wrong and that you regret everything you said or did. Make her feel loved and wanted and make up for all the time you missed. Even if you are only friends for a while soon she'll start to trust you again and learn that we all make mistakes. Remeber this might take a while to convince her you did break her heart.
Good luck *lola*
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2006): Well....First it was quite silly to lie to her...relationships are based on truth and loyalty and she was to you but you werent back to her, call her, meet her, try to see her in someway and talk to her why you did it in the first place why you would never do it again..and tell her EVERYTHING, be completely honest with her, you'll be lucky to get her back as you said you can't bare without her, just dont get your hopes up, and if its meant to be you both will always find a way!
Good Luck and i hope everything works out for you! x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2006): You have treated her badly but if you love her you should tell her, it won't be easy but given time you may sort it out. Will she ever trust you again is the question and whether you can trust yourself not to do all this again. If you come back this time it will have to be for good. I suggest if your serious you should both go to counselling.
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