A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all and thank for reading this.I'm 31 and I've always lived with my twin brother, first to save money, then just because we were both single and we've always been best friends. Then 6 months ago he moved in with his fiancee and her kids. I miss him a lot but he's happy so I'm happy and his fiancee is lovely. But since he moved out I've only seen him a handful of times and I've babysat her kids a couple of times so he could go out with his fiancee. Am I being ridiculous wanting to see him more than once a month? They don't live very far away from me. What's "normal" as far as seeing siblings goes? I don't want to say anything because I don't want to fall out with his fiancee and it sounds so stupid but I really miss seeing my brother.
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best friend, fiance, money, moved in, moved out Reply to this Question
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male
reader, calcol +, writes (30 August 2008):
this is not unusual!you are twins and twins share a common connection which most people cannot understand. me being one. twins are known for sharing this connection. I personally wish me and my sister got on as well as you seem to with your brother! I hope this makes you feel better!calx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): I think this is kinda unusual, for you to miss your brother so much. Also unusual that you would live together at your age. I don't understand: why do you miss him so much? I also think it's kinda unusual for a girl to say her brother is her best friend. Not too many women I know would say that about their brother. But I think twice a month would be about normal. My sisters and I live in the same metropolitan area, but about 35 miles apart, so I only see her and her husband and family about 2-3 times a year. There's not much reason for us to see each other more often than that, so I wouldn't think you would need to see your brother more than twice a month. If you miss him so much that you want to see him more, I think that might be a deeper problem. At some point you have to let go of him so you both can live your own lives.
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A
female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (20 July 2008):
 There is nothing wrong with missing your brother!
"Normal" has nothing to do with siblings and their relationships with each other, it's understandable that you've lived with each other for so longer, you're a little attached to him.
In his excitement of his new fiancee, he may have forgotten how close you guys are. So just talk to him and tell him how you feel, you don't need to have a fall out with his fiancee at all because it sounds like you already get along - no need to ruin that relationship!
All the best
XO
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (20 July 2008):
 You lived, with a man, for over 30 years and suddenly he is gone. Of course you miss him, but right now all his attention will be on his fiancee for obvious reasons.
You don't have to fall out with his fiancee, but you could tell him and her how you feel. After all, while she has a claim on him, so do you. Within reason you can see him, maybe during outings, or a family night who knows. You get along with the kids?
As for what is normal between siblings, I don't think normal applies ever to siblings. Living together so long certainly ain't 'normal'. But normal is overrated.
Just talk to him, most likely he has just forgotten a bit about his sister in the excitement of his new life. Saying you miss him is not going to cause a rift with his fiancee.
Since you already babysit for her kids I presume you two get along well enough so there is no reason to believe she will get upset if you want some time with him as well?
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